Aw heck, I'll bite...
Dear Mr. Gladys Smith,
After having received that bit of bad news, I would like to inform you that I would then like to inquire about how to purchase your time-machine that allows you to transport pizzas into 1943! Also, if this is not available for purchase at a reasonable price (how about twenty cents) then I will have to regretfully inform you that you may be receiving a package filled with poisonous snakes.
Terrible Service,
Mr. Fredrick Pearson,
Antarctica
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