I haven't played it, either. Still funny.
Quote:
Simon: Ah. Well, time to break out the enchanted Vampire Killer whip.
Zombie 1: A whip? You're fighting evil with a whip? Did all the weapon shops burn down?
Zombie 2: Yeah, man, you should grab something else from the candlesticks!
Simon: There's stuff in the candlesticks?
Zombie 1: (whacks Zombie 2)
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Skele-Dragon 2: Yeah! Not even the meat hidden in the walls will give you enough health to get past us!
Simon: There's meat in the walls?
Skele-Dragon 1: (headbutts Skele-Dragon 2)
Simon: Why the hell is there meat in the walls?
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*snerfle*
Quote:
Death: MWAHAHAHA!
Simon: Dracula has got Death itself working for him? Man, he doesn't mess around.
Death: You'll find that the rumours about me haven't been exaggerated either. I do indeed have a scythe, with which I shall administer a thousand cuts!
Simon: Not before my axes warm you over.
Death: You dare defy m-- Ow! Right in the jaws!
Simon: Not bad. I wonder if this would work on taxes too.
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Heh, worked that one nearly to d--... yeah...