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Old 02-23-2022, 02:18 PM
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February 17th, 1992, "Conundrum"

Fiver by Marc

The Episode

Captain's log, stardate 45494.2. We're investigating a series of subspace signals that may indicate intelligent life in the Epsilon Silar System. We are within sensor range.

You'd think by now they'd have automated tests on subspace signals that separate "intelligent life" versus "random fluctuations."

Furthermore, I'm starting to dislike the use of "intelligent life" as a synonym for "humanoid life". We've seen plenty of nonhumanoid sentient lifeforms.

ATA: The characteristic response to the Kriskov Gambit is to counter with the el-Mitra Exchange, particularly since I have already taken both your rooks. By missing that opportunity, you have left your king vulnerable.
TROI: We'll see.
DATA: As you wish, Counsellor. Check.
(Troi makes her move)
DATA: Intriguing. You have devised a completely unanticipated response to a classic attack. You will checkmate my king in seven moves.

Why anyone would play chess with Data is beyond me. Furthermore, I refuse to believe that anything seven moves away is set in stone. And seriously, Troi playing 3D chess?

TROI: You owe me one Samarian Sunset made in the traditional style, as only you can make it, Data.

The only other mention of Samarian Sunsets in canon is in "Profit and Loss" over on DS9. However, in Online Scotty says that they're sour and weak.

The weirdest mention in the expanded universe is the Star Trek Cookbook where Neelix made one for Tuvok. I know that Spock indulged on occasion, but I don't see Tuvok ever drinking like that. True Vulcans would never want their inhibitions lowered for even a second if possible.

RUSHER: If I remember correctly, the last time you graced my Sickbay, you were diving off the Cliffs of Heaven on Sumiko Four. Holodeck programme 47C.
KRISTIN: Same thing. Only that time, I flattened out when I should have tucked.
CRUSHER: Well, as your Doctor, I would like to recommend the Emerald Wading Pool on Cirrus Four. It's a lot safer.

Obvious 47 is obvious. Only mention of the Cliffs of Heaven or the Emerald Wading Pool (okay, an Okudagram in First Contact had the pool on the holoprogram list, but that doesn't really count).

Recreational swimming doesn't come up all that often in Trek. Skinny dipping seems to be a thing on Risa and Pacifica, but those are exceptions.

Oh, and while Worf seems to be anti-swimming, this isn't a general Klingon opinion. Kurn's house on Qo'noS has a swimming lake.

RIKER: Navigators on this ship have been doing flight handling assessments the same way for years, Ensign.
RO: And I've found a better way.
RIKER: Bridge. Do you mind if we discuss changes in procedure before you make them?
RO: If I had come to you in advance and asked you to do it my way
RIKER: I might have said
RO: No.
RIKER: Yes, maybe. The point is, I didn't get the chance.
RO: The point is, with all due respect Commander, you're trying to turn me into your idea of the model officer.
RIKER: The rules on this ship do not change just because Ro Laren decides they do.

I never did like the Riker/Ro animosity or the underlying sexual tension. Furthermore, I HATE the "if I had asked permission, you would have said no" thing.

It does make you wonder if "Conn" is in fact a complete department with its own head, or just a title for whoever is sitting at the helm at that moment. Is Ro just a pilot, or does she have other duties? It seems to me that Ro's job should've been like Worf's back in Season One; learning the different bridge stations before picking a specialty. We saw that Ro and Geordi had an interesting dynamic that could've been built upon. And did Ro and Data have any real interactions?

WORF: Sir, the scans are now matching the frequency of our optical data network. It could be an attempt to access our computer system.

It's not often you see "optical data network" instead of "ODN". I think the implication is that at this point the creators thought that the future of computer networking was strictly fiberoptics. Remember that these are still the days of dialup Internet, and even then it was only between large organizations. The World Wide Web was still in its infancy. HTML had barely been invented.

(Data puts a glass of clear liquid in front of Deanna, then taps it with his fingernail. A yellow glow diffuses into orange in the glass)

This won't be the first or last beverage on Trek that is this unstable, but of course the most memorable one is the Tsartak Apertif in "Time's Arrow". One wrong move and the whole thing will fizzle away.

(the Bridge is briefly flooded with bright green light)
PICARD: What happened?
LAFORGE: What the hell?
RIKER: I don't know who any of you are.
PICARD: Nor do I. I don't even remember who I am.

Lets get this out of the way: in no reasonable universe could an "amnesia ray" affect so many different species plus DATA in exactly the same way. To be frank, during the downtime Data should've been stunned and taken away. Plus, y'know, wouldn't the aliens want Data at his post to complete the mission?

PICARD: Clearly, we still possess certain skills. It would seem we know how to operate this ship. But our identities have somehow been erased or suppressed.
RIKER: We are on the Bridge. There's a good chance this is our ship. Looks like you're the leader.
WORF: Perhaps we should not jump to conclusions. I am decorated as well.

While a good gag, this doesn't make sense. While the aliens wouldn't care about the baldric, something as simple as rank insignia should be part of the general ship's knowledge that they'd want the crew to retain.

RO: That rules out a distress signal.
RIKER: If we even knew where to send it.

Isn't the whole point of a distress signal that you don't care who gets it? You just need help! And distress signals have always been omnidirectional.

MACDUFF: We've heard from all decks. There are over a thousand people on board. Everyone's had their memories affected in the same way we have.

And here we have another episode that neatly ignores the fact that there are children on board. Children who don't know who they are would be hysteric! Civilians without formal training would be hysteric! There should be chaos belowdecks!

LAFORGE: I'll go with you. I want to get my hands on the computer core. See if we can re-establish control from there.

THE computer core? You do realize that there are three computer cores on the ship, right? There are days that I wonder why the tech manual was written if nobodies actually going to use it as reference material.

RIKER: Well, with that holodeck we just saw. I think I could conjure up an interesting programme or two.
RO: Now that's disappointing.
RIKER: Why?
RO: You don't strike me as a man who needs a holodeck to have a good time.

I'm reminded of Riker's declarations in 11001001 (or whatever) that he can find his own fun. However, the idea that only a loser needs to use a holodeck is insulting to be honest with you. The weirdest part is that Gene's dead and they're still applying sexual innuendo to the holodeck. What's up with that?

RIKER: Your memories are gone as well?
DATA: The databanks that identify who I am are not functioning.

I refuse to believe that the Satarrans have the expertise to modify Data that much. He should be disassembled in a weapons lab by now.

TROI: No. Just for a moment, you seemed familiar.
RIKER: You remember me?
TROI: Not exactly. I mean, I don't know who you are, but there's something about you.

So their empathic bond has a unique telepathic fingerprint. Fair enough, and I expect the Satarrans can't block it. However, you'd think Troi would be off to be dissected and weaponized along with Data by now.

LAFORGE: Computer give me a biographical listing of all personnel responsible for primary operation of the ship.
COMPUTER: A full biographical listing is not available.
LAFORGE: Is there any list of the ship's senior officers?
COMPUTER: The crew manifest is available.

Insert typical technobabble rant here.

PICARD: What do we know about this weapon?
DATA: Our scientists theorise the Lysians are using an energy wave, either plasma-based or a subspace interference pattern.

Those aren't remotely similar technologies. It's like saying that the only two options for the power source of the A-Bomb are uranium and corbomite.

RO: I just didn't like the way my quarters were decorated. Besides, I have this funny feeling that maybe I spend most of my off hours here.
RIKER: Really?
RO: For all we know, you and I could be married.
RIKER: For all we know, you and I could hate each other.
RO: Sort of exciting, isn't it? We just don't know.

Like I said, this pairing never made sense to me. SF Debris says that it does because all of the baggage that otherwise would've held them back has been hidden. I disagree. Maybe a first-season Riker who was still chasing tail would be interested in Ro as a challenge, but it's the fifth season, he's "seasoned" (a horrible thing to say to a man) and would want someone who was a true companion, not just a lover.

Furthermore, Ro must've had her share of one-night stands as well, but without the baggage she should want to be more conventional. Bajorans know how to be warriors when they have to be, and lately they've certainly had to be, but in their natural state they're farmers and artists. They must have the same "nesting instinct" mentioned by Carmen back in "Silicon Avatar."
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