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Old 02-15-2018, 02:06 PM
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February 15th, 1988, "When the Bough Breaks"

No fiver
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

Let's get this out of the way first: this is a horrible episode. A good line here and there does not redeem the asinine nature of this plot.

HARRY: I'm not going back. I hate that teacher and I hate calculus.
BERNARD: Everyone needs an understanding of basic calculus, whether they like it or not.
HARRY: Why?

I understand how we're supposed to be smarter in the future and getting more advanced education earlier, but this is ridiculous. Calculus isn't just memorization, it's a framework of methods that's built on earlier education. You can't rush it unless the kid is a prodigy, and Harry is clearly meant to be an ordinary 24th-century kid. And it's not like you couldn't have had the same resolution using algebra instead...oh, wait!

CRUSHER: Captain, they haven't been through decontamination.
PICARD: Our medical doctor is concerned that you didn't go through the regular transporting procedure.

Party game everyone, how many instances in NextGen can you name where mysterious people beam themselves onto the ship and no one insists on decontamination procedures?

RADUE: We must return now to Aldea. Our eyes are very sensitive to bright light.

I get that this is a clue for the radiation sickness reveal later, but delivered in this way it really does seem like a Chekov's Gun to incapacitate them later, doesn't it? It's a shame the writer never thought of it.

TROI: Humans are unusually attached to their offspring.
CRUSHER: Our children are not for sale at any price.

Can you name any races that would be willing to sell their children? I can't even imagine the Ferengi willing to do this (the kids wouldn't be raised with Ferengi values!)...

RIKER: It's the children. That's why we've been brought here. That's what they wanted.

Yeah, Will, they told you that a few scenes ago! Was the editor asleep this week?

CRUSHER: Don't give in to fear. Now, we all knew what the risks were when we signed on, and that's the choice we made.

But your kids didn't make that choice, that's why they're not supposed to be on exploratory vessels!

RADUE: Where have you been Rashella? Zena and Aran are waiting to take Alexandra.
RASHELLA: No.
RADUE: No? I told you that she
RASHELLA: No, Radue. They can't have her. I will never let her go.

One wonders where Rashella learned the maternal instinct from. It makes a great act climax, though.

RIKER: You're certain they'll negotiate?
PICARD: Oh, they'll negotiate, or they'll call it that. They've taken what they want. Now they'll rationalise it by throwing us some sort of bone.
RIKER: And when we don't accept their offer?
PICARD: The minute they believe that we won't accept their compensation for the children, they'll break off the discussion, they'll disappear behind their shield, locking us out and the children in forever. That's why I've got to keep them talking.

Reasonable, but this seems awfully deceitful for Gene's perfect humans.

WESLEY: What does the Custodian do?
DUANA: It frees us from all burden. It takes care of all our needs. It regulates our lives.
WESLEY: Who built it?
DUANA: The Progenitors.
WESLEY: When?
DUANA: Oh, hundreds of centuries ago.

Didn't we already go through all this with Vaal? The problem with these "central computer maintains the status quo has some sort of paradise" plots is that it's not paradise. Either the people eventually learn to want more, or the computer makes them sheep unable to think for themselves.

WESLEY: What's in there? The power source?
DUANA: I don't know. It's forbidden.

Look, with the more primitive societies of TOS you can get away with this sort of programmed "blind spot" (Norman: I am programmed not to respond in this area), but with this much interdependent technology you can't have everyone be a mindless sheep.

PICARD: No. Doctor Crusher is a Staff Officer, Radue. Starfleet Regulation six point five seven requires that at least two Staff Officers are present during any treaty or contract negotiations.
RADUE [on viewscreen]: Very well.
RIKER: Not much on pleasantries, is he?
DATA: I am not aware of Regulation six point five seven.
PICARD: No, Data. Neither am I.
DATA: I see, sir. Oh, I see, sir.

This regulation seems pretty reasonable, I wonder why it wouldn't exist...

PICARD: Before we begin, we want to see the children.
RADUE: No. We're here to negotiate appropriate compensation, not to pander to emotions.

Time to go get the rest of the fleet and bombard this planet until they surrender. These guys are jerks and whatever compassion I may have had for them has evaporated.

DATA: I believe it was a repulsor beam.
PICARD: Position report.
LAFORGE: This is unbelievable, sir. According to my calculations, we're three days from Aldea. At warp nine.

I wouldn't go back to Aldea immediately, I'd call the rest of the fleet etc.

LEDA: Ah. A fish. We used to have them in our oceans. I've never seen one before.

Wait for after the next quote...

Chief Medical Officer's log, stardate 41512.9. I've begun to suspect that whatever is killing the Aldeans is related to a danger faced by Earth in the twenty first century. Can it be that Aldea's ozone layer has been weakened?

Very topical. You can read about the effect of ozone depletion on the ecosystem here. In short, more UV radiation stunts the growth of fish and the plankton they eat. This affects the entire food chain. But no fish means that the entire ecosystem has been destroyed. That just raises further questions!

RADUE: Before we begin, Captain, you must speak with the children. It seems they are on some sort of strike. I don't understand it. You must deal with this, Captain. I'm not very good with children.

Classic buyer's remorse. Maybe they should've stolen a few parenting manuals while they were at it. One wonders if the Custodian could hack the Enterprise computers...

HARRY: Dad, I want to be an artist, but I don't want to take calculus anymore.
BERNARD: You can be anything you want, Harry. Anything. But you still have to take calculus.
HARRY: Okay. Thanks, Dad.

A good lesson. It's a shame more wasn't made out of this. Seriously, why wasn't a family of minor recurring characters in the cast from the start? Have one of them be part of the engineering staff and the other part of the science staff, or whatever. See the kid a couple episodes a season, a few B-plots to make the ship feel like a city in space and not just a giant taxi.

DATA: It worked well, sir. We have successfully reseeded the ozone layer. But for their atmosphere to maintain it's integrity, they can never use the shield.
RIKER: Or be cloaked again.

Destroying an atmosphere in one day is reasonable, but fixing it shouldn't be this easy. Couldn't the captain's log have said that a science vessel will be coming soon to handle this project, as well as the long-term medical treatment of the locals?

Memory Alpha

* "Aldea" is Spanish for "village". Huh? None of these people are Spanish, or even human!
* Kirk's Enterprise was flung a great distance away in "That Which Survives." Toss that onto the pile of TOS episodes that are ripped off poorly this week.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil agrees that "Things are only impossible until they're not" is a great line.
* The Aldeans expect to repopulate the planet with seven kids? Too bad all of the children could've been kidnapped, but they were all transplanted to other continents and Wesley's group couldn't contact them in time. The creators never seemed to grasp this concept of "offscreen people never add to the budget or production time, so always use numbers that sound logical".
* Phil points out that the gravitational effects can help locate any cloaked planet.
* There are more kids kidnapped than parents present in the meeting. Therefore all of the kids that were kidnapped are part of single-parent homes. Every. Single. One. Did the budget really not extend to nonspeaking bit parts using already made costumes?
* Doesn't the Federation have orphans for these guys to adopt? Not that I necessarily consider these people fit parents or anything...



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Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.

Last edited by Nate the Great; 02-16-2018 at 12:47 AM.
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