The Fiver
Commander: Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son!
Spock: That doesn't even make sense! Geez, if you're going to reference Star Wars, at least pick something that works in context! For example, I love you.
Commander: I know.
Spock: Much better.
I have a bad feeling about this...
Commander: Now remember, Spock, while we're walking through the halls we keep our hands to ourselves and make sure not to touch any candy, magazines, or cloaking devices.
Spock: Yes, my lord.
My "lord"? It should either be "my lady", or else "Yes, mother!" and then a joke about how whipped he was as a kid or something...
Spock: No, I'll kill you with my Vulcan death grip.
Kirk: GAK!
I wish we'd standardized Gak! for death and Ack! for fake death...
Kirk: We're running out of episode time. Just beam me over there.
Scotty: But that's stupid, you'll get caught.
Kirk: Me, caught? Hahahahaha! Good one.
Yeah, good one! "That's as likely as my shirt getting ripped in a fight!"
Commander: With all this flirting and all, let me tell you my first name. It's (mumbles something in Spock's ear).
Spock: Leia? No wonder....
Odd place for a Star Wars reference, and that kind of pun/quip is out of character for Spock, even by fiver standards.
Kirk: Now, to replace the cloaking device with a bag of sand! I'll be sure to place the sand on the pedestal just as I remove the device. Slowly, sloowwwly... there!
Odd place for an Indiana Jones joke. A more generic heist movie joke would've fit better.
Guard: The cloaking device is gone!
Commander: How could you? We could've ruled hand in hand!
Spock: I'll never join you.
(SMACK)
Spock: Darth Vader wouldn't have slapped me...
Some pop culture references mesh together well in fiver form. This time I think we've got more of a car crash. A Q-Less joke probably would've fit better here. "You slapped me! X wouldn't have slapped me..."
Commander: Spock! Take off my mask, so that I can see you with my own eyes!
Spock: There you go again with those movie references that don't work.
At least the fiver is self-aware...
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.
mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.
Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.
Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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