[Nate the Great]

March 1st, 1968, "The Omega Glory"

Sorry, but I missed the switch from Th/F to W/Th in the anniversary airdates. Was there a leap-year somewhere to throw the airdates off?

Fiver (by IJD GAF)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

Here we go, the episode that plays like a "best of" for TOS cliches. Absurd science, absurd parallel development, complete disregard for the Prime Directive, real-world technical terms misused, Kirk speeches...

The Episode

MCCOY: These white crystals. That's what's left of the human body when you take the water away, which makes up ninety six percent of our bodies. Without water, we're all just three or four pounds of chemicals. Something crystallised them down to this.

Two episodes in a row where people have all of the water removed from their bodies. Of course back in "By Another Name" the powder had to be in a structured form to preserve the structure of their bodies and personality. No one noticed this and suggested spacing out the scripts a bit?

Captain's log, supplemental. The Enterprise has left the Exeter and moved into close planet orbit. Although it appears the infection may strand us here the rest of our lives, I face an even more difficult problem. A growing belief that Captain Tracey has been interfering with the evolution of life on this planet. It seems impossible. A star captain's most solemn oath is that he will give his life, even his entire crew, rather than violate the Prime Directive.

Interfere with the evolution of life? If we're using a definition broad enough to make this true (i.e. we're introducing alien bacteria and ideas that will alter the choices made by the locals), then almost any mission would be guilty of this. I think he means he development of civilization.

MCCOY: Our tissues definitely show a massive infection, Jim, but something is immunising us down here, thank heavens, or we'd have been dead hours ago.
KIRK: I don't think we're going to have time to isolate it, Bones.
MCCOY: The problem is, it could be anything Some spores or pollen in the air, some chemical.

I think you mean "neutralizing the effect", Bones. Immunization means you don't have to worry about it anymore.

SPOCK: A smaller attack on this village a week ago, driven off by Captain Tracey with his phaser. I have found villagers who will corroborate it.
MCCOY: Now wait a minute. He lost his ship and his crew, and he found himself the only thing standing between an entire village of peaceful people.
SPOCK: Regulations are quite harsh, but they're also quite clear, Captain. If you do not act, you will be considered equally guilty.

So merely using a phaser in view of a prewarp society is a violation of the Prime Directive? I'll repeat, why do our ships even go to planets with prewarp societies?

TRACEY: No native to this planet has ever had any trace of any kind of disease. How long would a man live if all disease were erased, Jim? Wu. (Wu enters) Tell Captain Kirk your age.
WU: Age? I have seen forty two years of the red bird. My eldest brother
TRACEY: Their year of the red bird comes once every eleven years, which he's seen forty two times. Multiply it. Wu is four hundred and sixty two years old. His father is well over a thousand.

Here's the thing: even if you disregard external accidents and remove illness as a source of death, humans can't live a thousand years. Period. We don't just die from disease, we die because our body simply breaks down. Random mutations render our cells unable to function at previous levels. At least future Trek series introduce technobabble energy fields to explain the lack of disease.

TRACEY: We've got to stay alive. Let the Yangs kill us and destroy what we have to offer and we'll have committed a crime against all humanity. I'd say that's slightly more important than the Prime Directive, wouldn't you, Jim?

There's a reason why the Prime Directive is Prime. It's first. Nothing is more important (ignore the Omega Directive for now; it's irrelevant to this episode).

Also, stop saying "humanity" when you mean "sentient life"! Cue Azetbur again.

TRACEY: You still think the Prime Directive's for this planet?
KIRK: I don't think we have the right or the wisdom to interfere, however a planet is evolving.

So...why do our heroes keep visiting prewarp societies?

MCCOY: Yes. I'm convinced that once there was a frightening biological war that existed here. The virus still exists. Then over the years, nature built up these natural immunising agents in the food, the water, and the soil.
SPOCK: War created an imbalance and nature counterbalanced it.
KIRK: There is a disease here, something that affected the Exeter landing party and us.
MCCOY: That's right. These immunising agents take time, and that's the real tragedy. Had the Exeter landing party stayed here just a few hours longer, they never would have died.
KIRK: Then we can leave any time we want to.

Wait a second, does the environment suppress this thing or kill it? Those aren't the same thing!

TRACEY: Impossible! You can't carry the disease up to the ship with you.
MCCOY: He's fully immunised now. We all are.

You mean "cured", Bones.

KIRK: Living like the Indians, and finally even looking like the American Indian. American. Yangs? Yanks? Spock, Yankees!
SPOCK: Kohms? Communists? The parallel is almost too close, Captain. It would mean they fought the war your Earth avoided, and in this case, the Asiatics won and took over this planet.

So biology, evolution, politics, and history are being misused this week. Ugh.

KIRK: We merely showed them the meaning of what they were fighting for. Liberty and freedom have to be more than just words. Gentlemen, the fighting is over here. I suggest we leave them to discover their history and their liberty.

There's a topical politics joke to be made here, but I won't be doing so.

The Fiver

Spock: Shouldn't we just hail them?
Kirk: Nah. Not with Uhura using up all our hailing minutes.
Uhura: ...so I'm like "totally!" and he's like "cool", and -- did you say something, Captain?

The cell phone joke and the valley girl joke collided a bit too bluntly. Sorry, IJD GAF.

Tracy: This planet is a verifiable fountain of youth! Just ask Wu over there.
Wu: I'm 462 years old.
Tracy: Don't you see? We can market this!
Kirk: You can, but you'll never outsell First Contact.
Tracy: Just for that, you're rooming with that huge barbarian Yang.

Hehe. Metahumor. As I've said before, I prefer Insurrection to First Contact.

Cloud William: Freedom? That's our worship-word! Tell him what he's won, barbarian female lover!
Sirah: Well Cloud, he's the new recipient of a fresh bump on the back of his skull!
(THUNK)
Kirk: ACK!
Cloud William: Later, chumps!

It's amazing how much The Price is Right has infiltrated pop culture. Cloud Williams' last line should've tied in with the game show theme, though.

Yang Forces: Stop fighting and come with us! We tire of your overplayed fight music.
Kirk: Which is that again?
Cloud William: You know, the one that goes "dundun Da Da Da Da--"
Tracy: Arg! Now it's in ALL our heads!

Haha, time to link to the fight music music box again.

Memory Alpha

* The letter-writing campaign to save the show worked so well that this episode had a message included telling the fans that a third season was coming.