[Sa'ar Chasm]

Picard: I'm starting to. He makes your mother sound as discreet as a Trappist monk with laryngitis.

Ask me about my vow of silence *g*

Data: Sensors show the Romulans are overloading their engines. Their warp core burns at both ends; it will not last the flight.
Picard: No doubt -- but as you see, my friends, it gives a lovely light.

As B5 Section Head, it's my duty to mis-identify the author of this poem. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of the names involved.

Elbrun: Tin Man is lonely. He used to carry a crew inside his body, but now they're all dead.
Picard: What happened to them?
Elbrun: Tin Man was hit by some high-energy cosmic rays.
Picard: They penetrated his body and irradiated the crew?
Elbrun: No, but they made him sneeze and... well, you can imagine the rest.

Ewwwwww.

Picard: Interesting. His speech sounded more Klingon than Romulan.
Riker: I guess this is one Romulan you won't be able to insult because he lacks honour, Mr. Worf.
Worf: On the contrary, sir. To a Klingon, his words show him to be the lowest form of scum imaginable -- a q'al kvek. What you humans call a "plagiarist."

Another entry in the Five Minute.net Mock-Klingon Dictionary.

Guinan: Fired? That sounds like juicy gossip. Do tell.
Crusher: Well, it all started a while back...
Crusher: Wish-fulfillment? Seems unlikely.
Riker: Here, I'll show you. (ahem) I wish this show had an annoying young prodigy.
Crusher: No, no. That's too far back. And an unpleasant memory anyway. Sooner than that.

Hah! Inter-fiver reference. Farpoint's getting a lot of second-hand mileage.

Crusher: In spite of Reyga's venom, he really was a stupidly optimistic man.

That looked vaguely familiar...

I'm sure it was a great shock to him when he died.

And then I remembered where it was from. It's amazing how much of a script gets lodged in the dim recesses of your memory. Excellent reference.

Crusher: Hey, Guinan. Thanks for the stabbing earlier. It really helped me out.
Guinan: Oh, no worries. I like to do it to help people out, or when they make bad puns, or when they're Q.
Crusher: Well, I bought you a whole set of forks for the future. That way the forks will be with you always.
Guinan: You obviously weren't paying attention to what I just said.
(Guinan proceeds to stab Beverly with forks at Ludicrous Speed)

*chortle*

"Come ON. The original show did this story like six times."

*snicker*

"Know an easy way to check if you're on one of Picard's ships? Check the weapons console for dust."

Zing!

"Oo, look at that. A big mean Klingon security guy. I'm soooo scared."

It's OK, he's on the Ent-D. Worf will just try to shoot him, miss, and then Picard will cow him into submission with a snapped order.

I love the earrings in the comic fiver. Nice touch.

Good job, all.