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Old 05-16-2003, 10:40 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]My very favorite tries so far (as noted earlier, I've had a hand in an alarmingly high number of them) in no particular order:


Neo: Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
Morpheus: Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
Neo: Point. So how did this happen?
Morpheus: Well, some scientists went to look for wreckage from a spherical ship in the Arctic Circle and....

***

Morpheus: Neo, this is your brain. This is your brain on the Matrix. Any questions?
Neo: Yes, sir. Permission to freak out?
Morpheus: Granted. No, wait, that's not right...
Neo: Aarrrghh! Noooo, it's all impossible! Lies, all lies! Somebody get me out of he--ack!
Morpheus: That wasn't very nice, Trinity.
Trinity: No, it certainly was not very nice of him to disturb my nap. Serves him right.

***

Morpheus: We were at the height of our civilization until we created AI.
Neo: You mean Artificial Intelligence?
Morpheus: No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.

***

Neo: So the Matrix is basically a humongous holodeck.
Morpheus: Correct.
Neo: Neato. *ahem* Computer, replicate me some shades.
Computer: Request denied. Shades are irrelevant. Your pathetic attempt to look cool is futile.
Morpheus: ...Actually, "a humongous holodeck with a major attitude" would be closer to the truth.
Computer: I can't help it. You all are so, so...[iost_uid0]hateable[/iost_uid0].[/colorost_uid0]
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“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs