[Opium]

6. Archer: We must go to that planet.
Chakotay: But sir...there are only bugs on that planet.
Archer: Porthos wants to chase them.

5. He would fire Neelix for daring to show his face( a good chef never does), and instead hire Evil Future Guy. "Hmmm, future mac and cheese...it's futureliscous and fat-free!"

4. He would attempt to have a love affair with Torres, but then stand by and look forlorn when Paris instead took her. Then, Archer would age and become bald yet handsome, and Torres would age gracefully, have an annoying brat as a child, and Paris would die. Then Torres would come on board the Enterprise R as the ship's chief engineer, and Archer would be comanding and...oh, wait, that's TNG...nevermind.

3. Voyager's main cargo bay would quickly become the first ship to have a water-polo pool in it.

2. Ensign Kim: Sir, there is a planted ahead full of genetically engeered men named John and TopHatMan. They never die. Should we keep them around?
Archer: What kind of danger could we run into being 70,000 light years away from Earth? Besides, they might beat my team at water polo.

1. No. More. Freaking. Seven. Of. Nine. With. Chakotay.

Top Ten things Wesley Crusher would do if he got ahold of Enterprise (which one is up to you! )