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Old 01-07-2021, 08:19 PM
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April 2nd, 1990, "Captain's Holiday"

Fiver (by Marc)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

First officer's log, Stardate 43745.2. We have departed Gemaris Five, where for the past two weeks Captain Picard has been serving as mediator in a trade dispute between the Gemarians and their nearest neighbour, the Dachlyds.

You know, with all the times that ambassadors have hijacked the Enterprise in TOS for this sort of mission, I do wonder why Picard was needed for this mission. I get that the captain of the flagship has to be able to serve as an ambassador in a pinch, but this doesn't seem like "a pinch", this seems more like Riva or Sarek territory. Furthermore, even if Picard was needed here, was the Enterprise? Surely they could go charting a nearby sector and leave Picard with a security detachment and a shuttle (or even that mythical Captain's Yacht, the Calypso).

RIKER: The place is called Risa, and believe me, Captain, it is a paradise. Warm tropical breezes, exotic food. Nothing to do but sit around all day and enjoy the quiet. And then
PICARD + RIKER: The women.
PICARD: Of course.
RIKER: I'm sure you would find their sybaritic outlook on life very appealing.
PICARD: Oh, I'm sure.

Picard doesn't know what Risa is? It certainly seems like Risa is the sort of place that the entire Federation (within a rounding error) already knows about. Furthermore, if the crew wants Picard to take a vacation so bad, wouldn't it be a matter of public record what kind of places he went to on previous leaves? Incidentally, "sybaritic" means "hedonistic", don't ask me why they used such an obscure word.

PICARD: Unfortunately, this vessel is about to undergo extensive repairs requiring my personal supervision.

What? You'll have to do better than that, Jean-Luc.

TROI: Will, I've just had some terrific news.
RIKER: Really?
TROI: There's an excellent chance my mother may be joining us on Starbase twelve.
PICARD: Your mother?
TROI: She's returning home from a conference on Achrady Seven, and she's going to try to rearrange her schedule so she can spend some time visiting with us.
RIKER: That's wonderful, Deanna.
TROI: She mentioned how much she was looking forward to seeing you again, Captain.


Funny, but cruel. Which I suppose makes it more funny.

RIKER: Is something wrong, Captain?
PICARD: Tell me, Number One, is the entire crew aware of this little scheme to send me off on holiday?
RIKER: I believe there are two ensigns stationed on deck thirty nine who know nothing about it.

Cute joke, but the really out-of-the-way ensigns would either be on Deck 42 or in the nacelle rooms.

WORF: Captain, I would feel better if you would allow me to assign a security officer to you. We will be out of communication range when we leave orbit.

Seriously? I know that Worf can be overprotective, but this is ridiculous. Plus I thought that Risa was a Federation world and would have, y'know, a subspace transmitter? Plus I'd imagine that Risa is important enough to have a starship in orbit at all times. This plot is starting to sound more like it would fit in the age of TOS.


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