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ost_uid0]Top Ten Changes Once the Borg Run Hogwarts
10. Robes abolished and replaced with more form fitting clothing. Like catsuits.
9. Quidditch now played with torpedoes and shields, the purpose to convert all other players to your side.
8. No house cup. We don't compete against ourselves.
7. Snape teaches every class. Why? Because he's evil (MWA HA HA HA!)
6. Owls are unnecessary due to the collective mind.
5. Feast days are changed to celebrate Wolf 359, the day we assimilated Picard, and the day we kicked Janeway's butt.
4. Everyone realizes Harry is really a whiny git and they deactivate him.
3. Hermione self-destructs when she realizes everyone knows the answer the instant she thinks it.
2. New spell: Betsyius-destroyomious
1. Everyone who is bald or redheaded is forced to buy a hairpiece or change the color.
Top Ten 10 Secret Ambitions of Malcolm Reed[/color
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