[Nate the Great]

KIRA: I don't want the Federation here, but for now
TAHNA: Once you're in your comfortable bed with the Federation, you won't be able to get out. We won't be able to get out.

They really needed to explain more how having the Federation here is so bad. The Federation is providing substantial help in rebuilding and will be loaning them very expensive soil reclamators in a few years.

BASHIR: What's bilitrium?
GARAK: A rare crystalline element, that can be an incredibly powerful source of energy. Provided, of course, one also has an anti-matter converter.

What can you convert antimatter into that will react with bilitrium any better than any other matter? Incidentally, "Firstborn" will mention that the Duras sisters tried to sell bilitrium on DS9.

DAX: Acknowledged. DS Nine to Ganges.
SISKO: Go ahead.
DAX: They're in the Yangtzee Kiang.

The rollbar exists to differentiate the ships. I had the model as a child. While rollbars make sense on larger starships, I always thought that they would throw of the symmetry of the warp field so much as to be impractical.

KIRA: Bajor Eight in one hundred twenty thousand kilometres. Dropping to impulse. What is that?
TAHNA: An anti-matter converter. I'm transferring power from the ship's warp drive into the storage cells.

If the idea of an antimatter converter is to hold warp plasma in some sort of stasis, the name doesn't really the reflect that.

TAHNA: Thirteen kilograms of gold-pressed latinum, as promised.

I guess bars, strips, and slips don't exist yet. If we assume bars (5 inX2.5 inX0.5 in) are solid gold, that's 2 kg per bar. Seven bars is a little more than Quark makes in a day!

KIRA: The wormhole? It's not the space station you're after. You can't possibly believe you can destroy the wormhole with that device?
TAHNA: I don't have to destroy it, just have to collapse the entrance.
KIRA: You're only hurting Bajor by doing this, Tahna.
TAHNA: No more wormhole, no more Federation or Cardassians. Or anyone. Drop out of warp. Now!

Yeah, this logic doesn't work. The Federation was here BEFORE the wormhole was discovered and they still want Bajor to join. Maybe the Cardassians wouldn't bother showing up until they're ready to invade again, but the Federation wouldn't leave.

The Fiver

Garak: Spy? Me? Why, what a shocking revelation! I am quite sure that in my time here since the Cardassians left that you are the first person to insinuate that.
Bashir: Heard that one before, have you?
Garak: Not often... only two or three times every hour.

It's not like you aren't asking for it, Garak.

Bashir: Oh my gosh! You'll never believe it! The spy! The spy talked to me! Maybe he wants my secrets!
Dax: What secrets, Julian?
Bashir: Maybe he knows about my genetic -- uh, research! My genetic research!

Ha ha. I'll bet that Garak had it figured out before anyone else, but not THIS early.

Los: No really. I've got some good Federation guilt going on now, and I want to reform and be good. For... the safety of puppies... and Christmas!

Ouch. He might as well say that he's here to win a baseball game to save the orphanage.

Admiral: (over the comm) Ben, your Bajoran liaison officer just called me and droned on and on and on about ten things she hates about you.
Sisko: Your point?

Ten Things I Hate About You is a 1999 movie. The fiver is from 2006. Not the most topical reference we've ever made.

Dunar: We Cardassians demand Los and the revered symbol he stole from our people!
Sisko: Wait a second... Admiral Forrest? I thought you were dead!

It would've been better if Dax did that joke.

Kira: Los, we need the Federation because they provide wormhole protection, and they've got a great insurance plan for it with the optional Occupation rider.
Los: So selling out to them is all about money?
Kira: When it comes to the wormhole, we don't want to do anything that will hurt our prophets.

Now that is one painful pun.

Lursa: Greetings, W-- Hey, this isn't TNG!
B'Etor: I knew we should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.

Looney Tunes gags are always funny.

Garak: No reason, no reason. Now off you go.... So, Doctor, how do your clothes fit?
Bashir: Garak, you gave me a dress.
Garak: A very becoming one, I might add.

Why did Bashir still put it on? Was it that dark in the dressing room?

Bashir: What's bilitrium?
Garak: Like any unheard-of chemical substance, it's a highly volatile explosive. All Los would need to make a bomb would be a toothpick, a rubberband, and an old sock.
Bashir: GASP!

Was this supposed to be a subtle MacGyver joke?

Los: Have you got the bilitrium?
Lursa: Yes, we accept payment in gold, latinum, or trilithium.
Los: PayPal?
B'Etor: NEVER!

Hehe. Today we'd probably use BitCoin instead.

(BOOM!)
Sisko: (over the comm) Your bomb has been detonated and our runabout has your runabout surrounded. Surrender.
Los: A good terrorist knows when it's time to call it quits. Very well, I surrender.
(Los is arrested at Ludicrous Speed)

This is one of the lamest final scenes I've ever seen in a fiver. No offense.

Memory Alpha

* Andrew Robinson freely admitted that he played the role as if Garak was attracted to Bashir.
* Supposedly Tahna Los's pain-inducing implant was supposed to be a reference to "Chain of Command." I didn't get it.
* Garak's shop has costumes worn in "Haven", "Captain's Holiday", and "The Perfect Mate". It's only the last one that I have a problem with, I don't think Kriosian culture has quite spread to the rest of the galaxy yet.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil still thinks that Odo's mass is conserved when he shape-shifts. Ugh.
* He wonders when Kira learned to pilot a runabout. I don't have this problem, no doubt all of the senior Bajoran officers got this training. Besides, they can't be any harder to fly than their own ships.
* Phil is surprised that Odo can shape-shift a functional commbadge. I never thought that Odo did anything but use a real thing and hold it inside his mass as needed. Yeah, a few times we see the commbadge turn to goo, but those are obviously mistakes.
* He points out that Kira's hairstyle changed. Memory Alpha says that Nana Visitor asked for a simpler, more utilitarian look for the character.