[Nate the Great]

PART TWO

The Fiver

Spock: I would say so. Can you believe it's using an ion propulsion drive? The Federation has never managed that.
Kirk: What about Deep Space 1?
Chekov: Isn't that a space station?

Memory Alpha has no record of a "Deep Space 1." Three, four, five, seven, and of course nine, but not one. Memory Beta says that Deep Space 1 was a starbase that was destroyed during the Tomed Incident (and only in an RPG game book), but there's no mention of an ion propulsion drive. In canon the Ares IV used an ion drive, but again, that's the future. To sum up, I don't get this joke.

Sulu: Oof. Did anyone get the number of that wessel?

Zeke, is that a typo or did you intend that Chekov say this line?

Luma: In the name of Sigma Draconis 6 I will right wrongs and triumph over evil -- and that means you!

Kind of a stretch for a Sailor Moon joke, but okay.

Captain's Log: My team and I have been captured by... wait, how can I possibly be recording a log right now?

This happens so often that it's almost not worth turning into a joke. Almost.

Kara: Back again? Do you enjoy the pain?
Kirk: Not really, but I wouldn't be the first Enterprise captain to YYYEEEEEAGH!

Zeke, I get that there's supposed to be a joke here, probably either about Archer or Pike, but I can't quite figure it out.

Captain's Log: Dr. McCoy has used the Teacher and is now attempting to re-enbrain Spock. The danger to both is great, but he insisted. Gave me some ludicrous speech about risk being our business.

"Re-enbrain"? If you were going to insult the "Risk is our business" speech, you should've tossed in a "I'll have to remember it to throw right back at him someday."

Kirk: (Damn.) Yes, my world has many success stories I can teach you. I think you in particular, Kara, would be a super girl to start running a coffee franchise...

Again, there's a joke here that I don't get.

Scotty: Captain, isn't this sort of the exact opposite of the Prime Directive?
Kirk: It's superceded in this case by an even higher law taught to every captain: the Omega Glory Directive. "If the episode is bad enough, just get it over with by any means necessary."

Oh, the list we could make of episodes where this applies...

McCoy: Wait. Wait! I can't do this!
Kirk: Sure you can! You have before, remember? The neural clone operation? Your job with the Initiative?

The neural clone thing seems to be a Farscape joke, but I don't know what that has to do with McCoy. "Initiative" eludes me.

Captain's Log, Supplemental: Our last chance is to reconnect Spock's -- okay, seriously, HOW am I recording these logs?

At this point? You probably found a recording device somewhere around the Controller. Even so, this isn't a joke that's strong enough to double-dip in the same fiver...

McCoy: I did NOT have any parts left over and I am insulted by the suggestion!
Spock: You mistake my reaction for concern. Quite the contrary. Should I ever make a serious error, you have supplied me with a prime excuse.

"Prime excuse." I want to call this a Star Trek XI joke...

Kirk: Well, that's that. Let's head home.
McCoy: Ugh. Anyone else feel like their very DNA is missing some important gene?
Scotty: Aye, you can say that again. We've had ridiculous missions before, but this one set a new threshold.
Kirk: Oh, have a little spirit, folks. We can't go on missions full of scientific fascination and moral shades of grey all the time. We're bound to get a few like this.
Spock: If I understand correctly, Jim, you are advising us in such situations to simply turn off our --
Kirk: Do NOT say it.

Talk about injoke density. Bravo, Zeke.