[Nate the Great]

February 16th, 1968, "Patterns of Force"

Fiver (by Kristina)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

MCCOY: Starfleet's been trying for six months. If he's alive, isn't it unlikely that he'd receive us now?

Six months? Starfleet has been trying to call Gill for six months with absolutely no response, and it took this long? I know that travel times are supposed to be a little longer in this era, but six months is just unforgivable no matter which way you look at it.

SPOCK: Zeons do have a crude interplanetary capability. Reaction powered. A small rocket. It is on an intercept course. That would mean it has sophisticated detection devices which neither Zeon nor Ekos should have.

In other words, Gill gave these people subspace capabilities. The problem is, in all other ways the planet seems like yet another twentieth century equivalent planet, which means our people never should've been there. Is the Prime Directive optional depending on the day of the week or something?

KIRK: We've run into a far more serious problem than the disappearance of John Gill. Spock, you and I will beam down. Bones, one precaution. Prepare a subcutaneous transponder in the event we can't use our communicators.

The problem with subcutaneous transponders is that while they're a completely logical and reasonable precaution, they open up a complete can of worms. Let's assume for the moment that these things can't be continually installed (eventually they'd cause body damage, the batteries don't have more than a few days of charge, etc.), that doesn't mean that there aren't umpteen other episodes in all series that would benefit from their inclusion. It's a logistical headache.

KIRK: Insert the transponders. Make one low pass to communication range in three hours. If we fail to make contact at the appointed time, take our co-ordinates from the transponder and beam us aboard no matter what our condition may be.

Again, fair enough, but it's another can of worms. If such precautions were taken in all episodes we'd miss out on many adventures. Plots that are resolved in ten minutes aren't very exciting.

KIRK: How could this have happened? The chances of another planet developing a culture like Nazi Germany, using the forms, the symbols, the uniforms of twentieth century Earth are so fantastically slim.

But a planet reproducing ancient Rome is completely reasonable? Is Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planet Development a thing in-universe or not?

KIRK: John Gill was the kindest, gentlest man I ever knew.

I'm not disputing this, but it's an interesting thought experiment: can you think of another of Kirk's old friends that would better fit this description?

SPOCK: Now, the rubindium crystals should find enough power here to achieve the necessary stimulus. As I recall from the history of physics, the ancient lasers were able to achieve the necessary excitation, even using crude natural crystals.

Using radio crystals to make a laser beam...I'll just link to the MacGyver theme and move on...

SPOCK: Captain, I'm beginning to understand why you Earthmen enjoy gambling. No matter how carefully one computes the odds of success, there is still a certain exhilaration in the risk.
KIRK: Very good, Spock. We may make a human of you yet.
SPOCK; I hope not.

Spock admitting to feeling an emotion? Good exchange, though.

DARAS: There's one chance left. If you'd use the weapons you have, you could destroy the fleet.
KIRK: That would mean the death of thousands of Ekosian spacemen.
ISAK: Many of my friends are aboard that ship, many of the Underground.
DARAS: Yes, but against those thousands are millions of innocent Zeon lives. You've got to choose the lesser of two evils.

Picard saying that he refuses to let arithmetic decide questions like that comes to mind...

KIRK: Gill. Gill, why did you abandon your mission? Why did you interfere with this culture?
GILL: Planet fragmented. Divided. Took lesson from Earth history.
KIRK: But why Nazi Germany? You studied history. You knew what the Nazis were.
GILL: Most efficient state Earth ever knew.
SPOCK: Quite true, Captain. That tiny country, beaten, bankrupt, defeated, rose in a few years to stand only one step away from global domination.
KIRK: But it was brutal, perverted, had to be destroyed at a terrible cost. Why that example?
SPOCK: Perhaps Gill felt that such a state, run benignly, could accomplish its efficiency without sadism.
KIRK: Why, Gill? Why?
GILL: Worked. At first it worked.

First, in what universe were the Nazis the most efficient state Earth ever knew? I'm not going to go too deep into this, but I just had to put that out there. Second, how could a "benign with no sadism" version of Nazism ever work? It kind of defeats the point of being Nazis, doesn't it?

GILL: (shot and dying in Kirk's arms) I was wrong. The non-interference Directive is the only way. We must stop the slaughter.
KIRK: You did that, Professor. You told them in time.
GILL: Even historians fail to learn from history. They repeat the same mistakes. Let the killing end.

Talk about soapboxing. Trek has had a much better record of getting the message across in more subtle and thought-provoking ways than this.

SPOCK: With the union of two cultures, this system would make a fine addition to the Federation.

You know, once they invent warp drive on their own and all. The Enterprise did remove the subspace technology and all the transtators that were undoubtedly a part of it, right? RIGHT?

MCCOY: It also proves another Earth saying. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Darn clever, these Earthmen, wouldn't you say?
SPOCK: Yes. Earthmen like Ramses, Alexander, Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler, Lee Kuan.

Lee Luan will be cited by Garth of Izar later, he will be a despot sometime in the future. Presumably he'll be a figure in World War III. One wonders why Khan wasn't included in this group.

The Fiver

Kirk: It's so Earth-like. Nudge, nudge, know what I mean?
Spock: Fascinating how we always seem to run into those environments...
Zeon Man: Hide -- they're right behind me!
Ekosian Guard: On your feet, Zeon pig! Now march -- it's off to the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Odd place for Monty Python jokes, but okay...

Kirk: Nazi Germany, and John Gill as the Fuhrer -- what are the odds of that?
Spock: You should know better than to get me started on those calculations.

Yes, he should.

Spock: This Zeon is by no means a cover-up.
Ekosian Guard: But your helmet is. Into the comfy chairs you both go!

Monty Python again? Just for that I'm linking to the theme song...

Kirk: How do we get out of this prison?
Spock: I say we couple our transponder chips, make a crude laser, and burn a metal lock.
Kirk: Only in the world of Star Trek....

Or MacGyver, as I've already discussed.

Spock: I know where John is -- over in Wilke's Booth, drugged.

Clever.

Kirk: We need to get through to John Gill. Spock, any ideas?
Spock: Captain, remember.... Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer?
Kirk: Sure -- yes.... Ja. Beierhund das oder die Flipperwald gesprut!
Guards: HAHAHAH-- GAK!

This is referencing The Funniest Joke in the World sketch, again from Monty Python. Don't bother putting that into Google Translate by the way, it's gibberish.

Memory Alpha

* This episode wasn't broadcast in Germany until 1996, and even then on pay TV.
* This "Nazis were efficient" idea was widespread at the time but has since been debunked. Well, duh...

Nitpicker's Guide

* Kirk and Spock left their phasers behind. Why aren't transponders built into the equipment as well so they can be retrieved later?