[Zeke]

I too am a huge Dave Barry fan. Some samples from my quotefile....

In 1877, inventor Thomas Alva Edison leaned over a device and recited "Mary Had a Little Lamb" in a loud and clear voice. Nothing happened, because the device was a pencil sharpener. Embarrassed, Edison vowed that one day he would invent an electric light so he could see what the hell he was doing.

You may feel that there is something twisted about the values of a guy who can be more committed to a bunch of transient athletes than he is to his own wife. But you have to consider the larger picture, from the guy's point of view: His wife may be a warm, loving, and loyal person, but THERE IS NO WAY SHE WILL EVER MAKE THE PLAY-OFFS.

It is at times like this that we should remember the words of President John F. Kennedy, who, in his stirring inaugural address, said: "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes."

At this time France was experiencing its glory years under Louis XIV, who became known as the "Sun King" because he was more than 2 million miles in circumference.

Men and women have different financial priorities. Women have to recognize that men want certain things that may not seem important to women, and men have to recognize that women are insane.

Alaska was originally a large place located way the hell past Canada, but this proved to be highly inconvenient for mapmakers, who in 1873 voted to make it smaller and put it into a little box next to Hawaii right off the coast of California, where it is today.

And one of his shortest and sweetest....

The 19th Amendment gave women the right to vote (for men).