[NAHTMMM]

Top Ten Wacky Plans Captain Janeway May Have Had During Voyager


10. Stockpiling Neelix's cooking so that if the torpedoes run low they can launch leola-stew torpedoes

9. Giving up on deciding between hairstyles and just shaving her scalp. Added benefit: makes her look more like a contemporary Starfleet captain

8. Voyager goes thattaway while Chakotay takes the shuttle and goes thisaway, "thisaway" being somewhere other than "a crater in the ground"

7. Chakotay: Captain, we're running low on shuttles. Again.
Janeway: Well, replicate some more. Again.
Chakotay: But we're low on material!
Janeway: Then take over a Borg cube or something and we'll use it as a shuttle! Do I have to think of everything?
Chakotay: ...

6. Her acceptance of the Zorklepuns' challenge to Space Tennis, using their respective ships as the rackets and a handy asteroid as the ball

5. Putting a TV in the engine room and setting it to show reruns of the "Red Green Show" 24/7, to provide B'elanna with inspiration

4. Giving Harry a special assignment: learning the secrets of the Jedi so he could will the ship home faster. (Harry turned out to be too talented. She cancelled the assignment literally hours before he was to appear before the Jedi council for the test that would secure a promotion to Jedi Master.)

3. The replication of a humongous cardboard box for Voyager to hide in.
Borg cube: Who goes there?
Cardboard-boxed Voyager: Nobody here but us assimilated chickens.
Borg cube: Hmm, you do look like a Borg cube....Okay, you may pass.

2. "Hmm, you know, we've had our problems with the holodecks too. Why don't we just shut them down for the rest of the trip?"
"BWAHAHAHA! ...Wait, Captain, you mean you were serious?"

1. Telling Seven to design a device which could compress time so strongly as to make an entire hour pass in just five minutes, thus allowing Voyager to get home within a few years. (Seven just looked at her like she was nuts.)




Next: Sisko's Top Ten Excuses for Losing to the Vulcans in the Baseball Game