[Scooter]

4. “Data’s Colonoscopy” – Geordi would rather be swallowing sharp pieces of glass than what he really has to do, which is investigate certain ... problems ... with Data’s functioning. B-plot: Crusher and Picard almost have a conversation.

3. “The Relief” – After years of erotic tension, everyone on board the NX-01 has sex over and over until they just plumb get tuckered out. Now able to function properly as Starfleet officers, the crew goes back to work and within a few short weeks resolves all the nagging subplots and pointless dangling questions of the last three seasons. Time travel is finally abolished, Vulcan unvulcanness is decreed illogical, and everyone’s happy – except Malcolm, who, for some reason, found the whole experience strangely unfulfilling.

2. “The Debate” – The Voyager crew spend fifty minutes in the briefing room arguing over whether to go straight or turn right. At the end of the episode someone presses the reset button, and no one remembers that they found out they were supposed to go left all along. The debate starts all over again.

1. “Ball’s Eye” – An entire episode of Deep Space 9 from the perspective of Sisko’s baseball. Includes a riveting subspace conversation with Starfleet supply over unaccountably delayed shipments of corbomite, which Sisko has requisitioned for defense of the space station; six separate reprimands of Bashir for whistling while other people are trying to work; and a privileged view of Sisko’s strategies for gaining the highest level in Halo XLI. In a delightful closer, after Sisko goes to bed and all the lights in Ops are dimmed, we learn that Rumpelstiltskin lives under a floorboard in Sisko’s office and never really left the station at all.



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Dax's Most Interesting Exes From All Her Lives