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ost_uid0]Anubis, that was hilarious! Fantastic job,
Ahem:
Top Ten Trek Characters Who Would Make Better Captains
10. Captain Chekov - First order of business: rename Enterprise into USS Leningrad. Second order of business: replicators distribute wodka, only wodka and nothing but the wodka.
9. Captain Troi of Deep Space Nine
(a massive Dominion fleet of warships comes through the wormhole)
"I am not sure, but I think I might be sensing danger!"
8. Captain Neelix of Enterprise NX-01 - In response to Xindi weapon attack on Earth, he attacks the Xindi homeworld with Leola Root Missiles. The Xindi surrender, groveling for mercy.
7. Captain Quark of USS Voyager
"Oh, come on people, why can`t we all sell the Vidiians some organs? Some extra kidneys, huh, huh? They`ll pay well! And spleen! I mean, who needs spleen?"
6. Captain Seven of Nine
"I`m taking command of the ship, effective immediately, solely because, as Captain, I am not allowed to have intimate relationships with members of my crew, therefore, NOBODY will force me into a relationship with the Rubber Tree Boy!"
(Dammit, dammit, dammit... can`t remember anything else, brain shut down... OK, I hereby revoke the "writing full lists" directive. Stuff me with straw and burn me on the town square,
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