[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Chose one:
The Top 10 Contrived Situations where Mayweather may get a line.
10. In one of the strangest twists yet, Daniels returns to [i
ost_uid0]Enterprise[/i
ost_uid0] to inform Archer that to save the future, Mayweather must somehow be allowed to speak to the Xindi Counsel to convince them to not launch the weapon. The plan works, but later backfires when Daniels returns again to inform them that by letting him speak, he would go on to write many novels and go on many lecture tours. This results in the future becoming what everybody feared most: A place that is ruled by a tyranical and militant Dr. Phil. He still states the painfully obvious, but he has a military force of unparalled power to make sure that people actually pays attention to him this time.
9. In one of the weirdest experiments so far onboard the ship, the ship's helm is refitted with a voice interface that responds only to Mayweathers' voice pattern. Subsequent attempts to allow more then one user proves unsuccessful, and Mayweather is finally allowed to speak. Fortunately, the vocal commands used in the new helm controls are single words only, so the pain is minimalized.
8. Mayweather final loses it, and demands that unless he is allowed more then his paltry amount of allotted lines, he will plow [i
ost_uid0]Enterprise[/i
ost_uid0] into the next asteroid they encounter. For the most part, the crew doesn't care, but reluctantly agrees to his demands as the NX-01 is the only dinghy they've been allowed to serve on for at least 5 to 10 years, or until Archer finally admits to Soval that humans are illogical, irrational beings.
7. After returning to Earth after successfully stopping the weapon and returning to service after a major overhaul and rebuild, Mayweather is mistakeningly promoted to Captain and given the NX-02. It explodes before even leaving port because of circumstances that wouldn't normally happen, but did because of the astronomical screw up that let him speak in the first place, and promoted as well.
6. While on leave while the ship is being evaluated to either be scrapped or returned to service, Mayweather realizes that he's allowed to speak, as there is no one to stop him or order him to remain silent. Moments after speaking the first syllable of the sentence though, the ground opens up and swallows him, never to be seen or heard from again. This makes no difference though, as the ship is returned to service after a major rebuild, and the helm controls are now tied into a remote control device in the hands of a 12 year old.
5. Ambassador Soval is almost successful in his attempts to have NX-01 dismantled and spread to the four quadrants, but against orders Mayweather speaks up and gives an emotional plea that the ship not be dismantled. Soval is incapable of dealing with the illogical nature of the interruption, and his head explodes moments later. Pecan pie is sured in an impromptu party afterwards.
I'll finish later, assuming that no one does in the mean time.
Something got posted anyway.[/color
ost_uid0]