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ost_uid0]I am impressed by your industry. Four lists at once! Even better they're almost as funny [i
ost_uid0]randomized[/i
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Top Ten Secret Talents of Mayweather
10. He managed to smuggle his novel past the *extremely* PC Federation censors as part of a drinking bet. (Never say "Melsna!" on Tellar.)
9. When Cpt. Archer failed the traditional greeting ceremony of the Zileations, Mayweather stepped in and saved the day. In his honor, the Zileations introduced the word "mayweathernik" to their vocabulary, which means "he who spits very, very far".
8. He plays Zero-G gotcha. With phaseball pistols.
7. He knows the replicator code for those pine-shaped air fresheners.
6. He's installed an electroshock mechanism in Trip's bed and is slowly conditioning him to stop snoring up the entire starboard section.
5. His fingernails cut themselves.
4. He's the unofficial Frappacino Guru.
3. He can go back in time and dictate tasks to his great-grandfather, claiming temporal cold war. He then picks up sealed envelope from attic and copy notes.
2. He wrote "I'll be over here:The other silent Ensign's Road to Success"
1. He wrote "Shut up!: The silent Ensign's Road to Success"
Top Ten Secret Talents of Hoshi
10. Use her *other* head.
9. She figured out how to make something edible out of Starfleet Q-Rations. Now, every other Friday is "Deep-fried silver foil day".
8. She sings under the shower. For hours.
7. She's a master ventriloquist.
6. She makes it beep sometimes, too.
5. She was voted "Damsel in Distress" 2150 AND 2154.
4. She's a highly successful Tribble farmer. In an alternate universe, but hey, it still counts, right?
3. She can stick her head under running water and overclock her brain.
2. She stitches all those holes in the jumpsuits.
1. She can go forward in time to a point where mankind has evolved beyond the need for calculus homework.
Top Ten Secret Talents of Jake
10. There's a console on Ops that nobody knows what it's for. Jake installed it.
9. He plays a mean game of Kasis-Kot.
8. He makes lovely Vulcan Plomeek soup.
7. He’ll often get a pack of Scalosian coffee.
6. He's the silent owner and lone stockholder of Expanse Tours.
5. He likes to pay Wesley Crusher to do his chores. Actually, talking to him probably would suffice...
4. Those beeps spell out "Spend more time with your son" in subliminal morse.
3. He installed a "Make sparks" button, and nobody noticed.
2. DS9 slightly changes appearance towards a Hawaiian motif one room at a time, thanks to Jake being a closet interior decorator.
1. When faced with a difficult task, he’ll level up to a multiple of 5 and use his raise for Intelligence.
Top Ten Ways for Standback to Finish his Calculus Homework More Quickly
10. Disregard any tasks that include the letter "g" in their wording - they're trick questions anyway.
9. Stop carving them into stone tablets and get some paper.
8. He has the rare mental gift of Gowronesis. When he had a headache, the Klingons declared war upon the Federation.
7. He's a closet DJ.
6. He came out third in the 247th Micrometeroid Golf championship of Andor.
5. He knows Kung Fu. Nobody has yet asked him to show it, though.
4. He's an amateur dentist.
3. According to the Marduk report, he's the seventh child. Whatever that means.
2. Redefine "Finish".
1. Oomox, with the help of a pair of dog puppies. Don't even ask.
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