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10: Quark: His Ferenginar Sucking Toad. Displays all the toadying qualities of a good lackey without any of Rom's pesky independence.
9: Picard: His pet rock, the only creature in the galaxy with less hair than him.
8: LaForge: Deadeye, his seeing-eye dog. Sadly, Deadeye lost his sight in a freak frisbee incident near the warp core, leading to some rather obvious jokes about his relationship with Geordi.
7: Chekov: the family of birds that nested in his hair.
6: Uhura: Her pet parrot. Died tragically in a freak airlock incident shortly after a redshirt taught it to say "Hailing frequencies open."
5: Worf: Presented with a tribble as a joke. It managed to find the gagh and reproduce before being taken out by the mek'leth cannon. Tenth-generation descendents can still be found in the more remote areas of his cabin.
4: Yar: Her pet mayfly. Despite having a lifespan measure in hours, it outlived her by a considerable margin.
3: Kirk: His pet Risian rabbit, the randiest creature in the galaxy. Died of shame a week after Kirk acquired it.
2: Spock: The Enterprise computer.
1: Travis: Dupe, his clone, born of one of Phlox's menagerie and some spit. Travis has actually been on vacation since Similitude while Dupe pilots the ship, but nobody's noticed yet.
Top Ten Signs That Star Trek Writers Have Tapped Out Their Creativity After Five Series[/color
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