[color=#000000
ost_uid0]
[iost_uid0]"The Pies of Zetar"[/iost_uid0]
Zeke: Â Hmm, "pies"? Maybe this one will actually be interesting...
Mysterious Future Guy: Â But NAH is writing it.
Zeke: Â Point. --Hey, who are you? And why are you driving Archer nuts? Who decided [i
ost_uid0]you[/i
ost_uid0] should be the only person who gets to have all the fun?
MFG: Â Sorry, different Future Guy. Now, shall we get to the plot already?
Zeke: Â Sure, but wait a sec. I feel a moral obligation to pick up all the forumgoers who fainted at the mention of a plot in a Baw fiver.
PointyHairedJedi: Â Check out this plot device I got real cheap at Christie's.
Saxamaphone: Â ...[i
ost_uid0](has to wait while the author runs off to Boogle in a fit of inspiration)[/i
ost_uid0]... Wouldn't that be less confusing if you just said "Google"? Anyway, that's a real nice picture of a, errr, umbrella thingy you've got there, PHJ.
PHJ: Â Oh, sorry, I have it upside down. It's really a picture of a broom. But how does this further the plot in a story about pies?
Katy Jane: Â maybe there's a secret mesage hidden somewhere on it? look! There under the artist's signature
PHJ: Â Wait a moment. What the frell are we doing squinting at a portrait of a broom? Isn't there a huge ZonK fleet coming to Earth? With Captain Galactic and Zuke in an orbiting starbase?
Celeste: Â Yeah, and I'm the Dictator of Earth or something! With Riley as First Dog! Yippee : D
NAHTMMM: Â Number one, please don't mention baddies, or even [i
ost_uid0]a[/i
ost_uid0] baddie, orbiting Earth in starbases. It brings back  :eyeroll: :madder: :dead:  memories of the last half of [i
ost_uid0]Death Orbit[/i
ost_uid0]. Number two, we're putting that storyline on hold for the moment.
O'Pipp: Â Will this [i
ost_uid0]new[/i
ost_uid0] storyline involve Jonas decapitation?
NAH: Â Um, I have no idea. Let's find out, OK?
mudshark: Â Could someone turn on the overhead lights for me? ...Thanks. ...This is hard to read. "Macoides"? "Mecaidcs?" Maybe that's Mercedes. ..."Tercorum"? Is that like a geological epoch or something?
Derek: Â I'm guessing that somebody misspelled "Trek forum". Anything else on there?
mudshark: Â There's some scribble out in front of all this, then at the end there's something about "satis Bee". Or "satis" something.
NeoMatrix: Â Maybe someone couldn't spell Marina Sirtis
catalina marina: Â *had been dozing, now starts* Huh?
Zeke: Â So who else is going to come with me to Zetar?
Sa'ar Chasm: Â I'm coming, just so I can get a line in somewhe--oh, wait. Never mind.
Nan: Â Heh. Â Never a dull moment with you guys. Â
Marc: Â Zeke? Doesn't the message tell us to drive a Mercedes around a Star Trek Board dedicated to Troi?
Zeke: Â No, that last, besides being part of the whole reference, must say "satisfy thee". That obviously refers to the pie satisfying I. Er, thee. I mean, me. The title of this is "Pies of Zetar". Not "Pies of TrekBBS" or "Pies of EFCL" or anything else. Ergo, we go to Zetar. Get it, Marc?
ijd gaf: Â Why should we trust this silly message anyway? [i
ost_uid0]Look[/i
ost_uid0] at this! The picture frame isn't even cedar!
Zeke: Â Well, here we are.
Kira: Â That was almost too quick.
Zeke: Â This is a fiver.
MFG: Â Written by NAHTMMM.
Zeke: Â Oh yeah. I guess that [i
ost_uid0]was[/i
ost_uid0] disturbingly quick then.
Katy Jane: Â why are we making fun of NAH?
NAH: Â Because it's fun!
Katy Jane: Â oookay then...
ijd gaf: Â You do realize that the entire planet of Zetar is a cloud of dust, right?
Zeke: Â Well, yeah. I was hoping that maybe a cookbook or something had survived the destruction though.
Cookbook: Â Yoo-hoo! Over here!
PHJ: Â Gotcha! Tractoring in...
Zeke: Â Good, let's get out of here quickly. These short scenes are creeping me out. I'm not even sure NAH actually wrote this.
MPQ: Â So the fact that a flimsy cookbook somehow survived the cataclysm that utterly destroyed the rest of its planet doesn't disturb you?
Zeke: Â Nope. This is a Baw fiver. What do you expect, realism?
Zeke: Â Let's have a look at this book. "How to Make a Pie Out of Any Food". Eh, I guess this might actually be useful. I still haven't found that old apple-and-tangerine pie recipe I lost a few years back.
Jonas: Â Millennia ago, the Zetar were renowned across the galaxy for their ability to make pies out of anything--so goes the legend. But their pies held a terrible curs--[i
ost_uid0][b
ost_uid0][color=red
ost_uid0]GAK![/color
ost_uid0][/b
ost_uid0][/i
ost_uid0] :dead:
Things Are Good: Â "a terrible curs[i
ost_uid0][b
ost_uid0][color=red
ost_uid0]GAK[/color
ost_uid0][/b
ost_uid0][/i
ost_uid0]"?
O'Pipp: Â (rubbing the blade of her Jonas Scyther of Doom absent-mindedly as she checks her watch) Twelve seconds? Â How embarrassing. Â I'm getting out of practice.
Kira: Â Frell, O'Pipp, don't you realize what you've done? You kept us from finding out what the dark secret of the Zetarian pies is! Now we're practically doomed to endure a sequel!
O'Pipp: Â Will I get to kill Jonas again?
Kira: Â No.
Arzosah: Â Mmm, pie. Â ...What? You knew [i
ost_uid0]somebody[/i
ost_uid0] was going to say it.
FatMat426: Â Um, what was the point of bringing in that [b
ost_uid0]Mysterious Future Guy[/b
ost_uid0] again? :suspicious:
NAH: Â Whoops, forgot about him. Just one more scene or two...
Zeke: Â Hey! This is full of blank pages!
Vreenak: It's a [b
ost_uid0]FAAAAAAKE[/b
ost_uid0]!
Mysterious Future Guy: Â Ha! Now I will reveal myself! I am actually--
Katy Jane: Â Porthos?
Derek: Â Silik?
The Squid: Â Please, [i
ost_uid0]please[/i
ost_uid0] don't let it be a famous news anchor...
taya17: Â John Sheridan, is that you?
MFG: Â No no, wrong Future Guy. I'm actually a future Zeke, come back in time to nab that cookbook before my past self could get it so that I will have the recipes for myself!
Zeke: Â Think about what you just said. It makes no sense. So you make no sense. Which means I make no sense. And that does not make any sense whatsoever.
[i
ost_uid0](Celeste whimpers in pain and covers her ears.)[/i
ost_uid0]
Future Zeke: Â This is a fiver. It doesn't have to make sense. Besides, I wanted to discourage myself from going on any more wild gooseberry pie chases anyway.
Standback: Â Calling this long drivel a fiver is what makes no sense.
Zeke: Â Point. I'm convinced that NAH wrote this now.
Kosst: Â So do you know what the dark secret of the Pies of Zetar is?
Future Zeke: Â Nope.
Kira: Â Drat.
[i
ost_uid0](A sequel looms at Ludicrous Speed.)[/i
ost_uid0][/color
ost_uid0]