[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus and Neo are now in a classic featureless white room. Morpheus explains that this is the Construct, a sort of anteroom to the Matrix where they can create supplies and weapons. He gets philosophical for a bit, waxing on the nature of perception, and then begins to explain what happened to the world. It seems the turning point was mankind's creation of true AI -- the machines revolted and waged a bloody war. In desperation, our side "scorched" the sky to interfere with the machines' solar energy systems. Deprived of their main power source, the machines improvised by devising a way to extract energy from humans. The human race is now grown in fields and kept alive in tanks like Neo's, with the Matrix serving to occupy their minds. This is all more than Neo can handle; he demands to be revived, and then vomits and passes out.

One scene. The synopsis is still here (page down a bit).[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: This is where we ask for things. Just dont...
Neo: I need a car.
*cars appear*
Morpheus:..ask for a car.
Neo: Whoa

---------------------------------------------------------
Cypher: He's going to pop
Morpheus: I told you that you couldnt handle the roller coaster program[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]OK, I'm just throwing out random bits and pieces here. All off the top of my head, more or less.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] This is the Construct. Here, we can create big guns, cool shades, and enough black leather to cover Toronto.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Can I have a Coke?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] No.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Point.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] In the 21st century, man created an A.I. that took over the entire world.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Maaaaan. I [i:post_uid0]knew[/i:post_uid0] there was something fishy about those Doom 3 previews.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The humans scorched the sky, so robots would be cut off from the solar energy they relied on.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Those idiots! Why didn't they just attack at night?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Well, [i:post_uid0]obviousl--[/i:post_uid0] because-- umm... d'oh!

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Without the sun, the machines turned to a new source of energy - the human body.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] No! How is that possible?!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I have seen the fields, Neo - the endless fields...
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh my god...
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hamster wheels, Neo. Fields of giant hamster wheels, as far as the eye can see...

[b:post_uid0]Morphius:[/b:post_uid0] The Matrix is control, Neo. A computer-generated dreamworld, designed to turn a human being... into this.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] A green M&M?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Damn! Wrong pocket!

It should be noted that the "should have attacked at night" joke is shamelessly plagarized from PWoT.com's "The Matrix: Rejected" list... http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/matrix50.html . Highly recommended. :)

Please feel free to comment, modify, improve, dis, cannabalize, mix n' match, or just ignore.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Okay, exposition time: At the turn of the millennium, man created an A.I. that assimilated the entire world.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Didn't that bald guy kill them all off though?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Almost. Somehow, Bjorn escaped.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The oil companies scorched the sky, so people would be cut off from the solar energy they relied on. Oh, and also so that the computers would be deprived of power too.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Those idiots! Why didn't they just attack at night?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Well, [i:post_uid0]obviousl--[/i:post_uid0] er, because-- umm... That question is irrelevant.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] But--
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Asking questions which do not justify fight scenes with really cool special effects is the height of futility.[/quote:post_uid0]


[quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Life is but a dream, Neo. A computer-generated dream, designed to turn human beings everywhere... into this.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] A green M&M?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Wha...? --Whoops, wrong pocket![/quote:post_uid0]

I like all the other scenes so far as well, for the most part.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I got nothing, so maybe I'll try to do the entire thing in song titles (and lyrics).

(plugging in)
Neo: Hooked on a feeling.


Neo: I do believe we're on the eve of destruction
Morpheus: (nodding) It's the end of the world as we know it.
Neo: Blue skies smiling at me. Time warp?
Morpheus: Here comes the rain again.

Morpheus: I wear my sunglasses at night


Neo: I can't fight this feeling anymore! Bye bye bye!
Whoever Unplugs Him:
Neo: Movin' it on up (blork)

Bah. I'm gonna wait for the next block and throw my support behind Standback.

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
Morpheus: Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
Neo: Point.
[/quote:post_uid0]

This I like.[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Point.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I really like this scene.

Anyway, I don't have much time to add anything, but I had two thoughts on the very beginning of the scene.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Welcome to the afterlife, Neo. You're dead.

or

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] You're in a virtual construct.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Virtual construct, what is this?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] A computer world created by AI.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] AI, what is this?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I'd love to explain this, but we don't have the time.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Time, what is--
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Stop that! You may be the one, but you're not the Emissary.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Aggressive, adversarial.

Ack. Break over, can't work on it anymore.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Welcome to the afterlife, Neo. You're dead.[/quote:post_uid0]

Oh, I love that...

Problem is, it depends on the scene being established. And we don't really have that, especially since we skipped over Neo being plugged in last time - but it's a problem anyway, to anybody who doesn't know the order of the scenes by heart.

But if we can make it fit, it's hilarious...[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Welcome to the afterlife, Neo. You're dead.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] For someone who's dead, I feel like I'm in good health. [/quote:post_uid0][or however we could adapt whatever it was Kirk said to Spock in Patterns of Force]


[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Neo, this is your brain. This is your brain on the Matrix. Any questions?
Neo: Yes, sir. Permission to freak out?
Morpheus: Granted. No, wait, that's not right...
Neo: Aarrrghh! Noooo, it's all impossible! All of it! Lies, all lies! I can feel myself going craz--ack!
Morpheus: That wasn't very nice, Trinity.
Trinity: No, it certainly was not very nice of him to disturb my nap. Serves him right.[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] This is the Construct. Here, we can create big guns, cool shades, and enough black leather to cover Toronto.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Can I have a Coke?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] No.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Point.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The humans scorched the sky, so robots would be cut off from the solar energy they relied on.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Those idiots! Why didn't they just attack at night?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Well, [i:post_uid0]obviousl--[/i:post_uid0] because-- umm... d'oh!

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Without the sun, the machines turned to a new source of energy - the human body.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] No! How is that possible?!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I have seen the fields, Neo - the endless fields...
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh my god...
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hamster wheels, Neo. Fields of giant hamster wheels, as far as the eye can see...

[b:post_uid0]Morphius:[/b:post_uid0] The Matrix is control, Neo. A computer-generated dreamworld, designed to turn a human being... into this.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] A green M&M?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Damn! Wrong pocket![/quote:post_uid0]

FUNNY. I can't beat that.

- Trip[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: This is where we ask for things. Just dont...
Neo: I need a car.
*cars appear*
Morpheus:..ask for a car.
Neo: Whoa[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I assume this one is based on that car commercial, right? It's funny, but like NyQuil I don't know how well known it is.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: This is our Anteroom. We try not to get it near our regular rooms.
Neo: Why?
Morpheus: You know matter and antimatter...?

Morpheus: We ask for things. Things that make us cool.
Neo: Like laxatives?
Morpheus: Those are things that make us go.

Crass, crude potty humour. I forsee getting slapped with a veto. It popped into my brain and I had to type it.

Neo: So the machines died after the sun was blocked off?
Morpheus: No, they switched to this.
Neo: Energizer batteries?
Morpheus: They kept going and going and going and going and...(Energizer bunny wanders through the Anteroom. Morpheus ventilates it).

(wince) Somebody make these funny.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: This is where we ask for things.
Neo: Good. I need a pair of ruby slippers badly right about now.



Neo: So the Matrix is basically a humongous holodeck.
Morpheus: Correct.
Neo: Neato. *ahem* Computer, replicate me some shades.
Computer: Request denied. Shades are irrelevant. Your pathetic attempt to look cool is futile.
Morpheus: ...Actually, "a humongous holodeck with a major attitude" would be closer to the truth.
Computer: I can't help it. You all are so, so...*hateable*. And you're too easy to make fun of.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Variation on a theme:

Morpheus: The Matrix is simply a giant illusion, all run from a little cube sitting on sombody's desk somewhere.
Neo: Y'mean Barclay was right?

If it hadn't been done in the Worf/Dax wedding fiver, I'd try for a Parable of the Cave reference.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: We ask for things. Things that make us cool.
Neo: Like laxatives?
Morpheus: Those are things that make us go.[/quote:post_uid0]

I thought this was hilarious, actually.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: This is where we get "Reloaded".
Neo: so we are inside a program?
Morpheus: Yes, and you must reboot correctly.
Neo: You mean I cant just unplug myself?
Morpheus: Please tell me you didnt just say that.

*Energizer Bunny strools by*
Neo: Wow, that bunny is still going after all these years.
Morpheus: Oh, Tank added that to the Matrix several years ago. You like it?
Neo: Just one thing. Why a pink rabbit?
Morpheus: ask Trinity.
Neo: What about the shades?
Morpheus: That would be my idea.

Neo: So how did the robots get to be so powerful?
Morpheus: We believe the Borg came and gave the robots new technology.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]More variations:

Morpheus: This is where we get "Reloaded".
Neo: so we are inside a program?
Morpheus: Yes, and you must reboot correctly.
Neo: How?
Morpheus: Tap your icon and yell "ReBoot!"[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are you saying we're inside a computer program?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Is that really so hard to believe? Look at yourself - you're a two-dimensional character, the plot makes no sense, and you're mainly here to shoot people.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Point.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]*howls*

oh man.... I loved that bit in particular.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here's another one... not as fond of it, but hey, it's there...

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What's with the TV?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Watch. This... is the world you know.
[b:post_uid0]TV:[/b:post_uid0] [i:post_uid0](To [/i:post_uid0]The Simpsons[i:post_uid0]' theme tune)[/i:post_uid0] Ta da daaa, ta da da da, ta-da-da-dum!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] In the world you know, the citizens of Springfield chopped down Mister Burns' machine for blocking out the sun. Bart pulled the plug on the evil twin robot he built. In the real world... these episodes ended differently.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Whoa. What episode was it that robots took over the world and locked all the humans in a giant holodeck?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, that was over in [i:post_uid0]ALF[/i:post_uid0].

Note: The sun-blocking machine was of course from "Who Shot Mister Burns"... The robot one was made up, but someone here probably knows a real episode that might be applicable.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, there's [i:post_uid0]Insurrection[/i:post_uid0], but that wasn't robots. And of course there's [i:post_uid0]Westworld[/i:post_uid0], but in that case the robots dodn't so much lock everyone up as try to kill them.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Do we have any more variations? If not, lets decide on one and go on.[/color:post_uid0]