"When did we get a deck 47?" asked Fred.

"Xeroc may know. He is a dedicated programming fan. We must ask him," replied the alien somehow named Odo who could be the Odo but at the same time may not be...

"You're an idiot! You know that, don't you," replied another alien, who lacked a nose.

"Zzzzzzzzzz," was all that was heard from a little sleepy alien in the corner.

"Arise, my sleepy alien. Today is a new day to conquerr. Go get the...WEAPON!" said the alien with the evil smile.

"Buh? What's happening? Is it sunday yet?", the sleepy alien responded.

Carefully, Redshirt Hanstetermanemonon set a trap for the Odo-which-was-both-Odo-and-not-Odo.

"Don't forget to turn the trap on." reminded the D'uh warning label.

"Emergency! Emergency! All hands to battle stations! We're under attack!", was heard over the comm suddenly.

"For the love of J/C, MOVE!" Janeway shouted, awoken by the alarm.

Gingerly as could be, Voyager moved about 47 centimeters to the right, narrowly missing an unidentifiable yet scary flashing beam of some sort.

Heavy metal fans admired Voyager's armour plating, as they waved faintly in her wake.......

"Internal sensors report the crew are waking up!", fractically yelled an alien on the bridge.

"John must DIE!" the alien leader yelled back.

Kirk applied some mascara to his knees.

(Locate the person who wrote that last sentence, and fire him. -Editor)

Mascara was meant for Lt. Rand, but he missed when the ship was fired upon.

Not that it mattered.

Or indeed, had anyone cared, it still wouldn't have.

Possibly, it would, well... no, no it definitely wouldn't.