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Zeke 08-04-2005 05:35 AM

August 3 (CW FINALE)

Welcome to Day 32 -- the END of Cliffhanger Week! (Why 32? Because it's 2 to the fifth power, fool.) Here's what we've got:
<ul>[*]First, here's the rest of Kira's amazing comic fiver for "The Best of Both Worlds."[*]Second, the last in our First Fiver Retrospectives series is my own, taking a look at the very first fiver not just by me, but by anyone: "Caretaker."[*]And finally, this year's panel event concludes with the very long Cliffhangers, Part 7 by me.[/list]

And that's almost a wrap! Cliffhanger Week is done, but the fifth-anniversary event isn't quite -- I have a few words to say about this milestone we've reached. I'll say them in a special article tomorrow, and I'll also let you guys know what's coming up at 5M in the next few months.

As for CW, however, this really truly is the end. I'd like to extend my sincere thanks to everyone who contributed -- especially the staff, who have been working on this for over a year now. Kira deserves particular credit for all the formatting work she put in, without which I would have had a much harder time making these updates (especially those first 20 big ones in 20 consecutive days!). And finally, thanks to all you readers, who have driven our hitcounts high throughout this event and given us plenty of feedback. This event was worthy of the occasion, and I'm grateful to everyone who made that so.

(One more thing: there are a few fivers intended for CW that weren't ready in time for the finale. They'll be appearing as they're completed. They're part of CW in spirit -- if you like, think of them as DVD extras or something.)

Scooter 08-04-2005 06:35 AM

Holy rusted metal, Batman--I have lines! Fantastic. :) (Thanks for saving me, SC...)

Wait. The conclusion is to be continued? *mind boggles*

Cool retrospective, too. You know you've started something big when people start establishing academic disciplines dedicated to picking you apart. Or is a fiverologist a little less reputable, like a ufologist?

Awesome comic. cw rulz!

Ginga 08-04-2005 07:50 AM

Once again, I must say... more comic fivers! More! :D

Derek 08-04-2005 01:21 PM

Great comic fiver, Kira.


Sa'ar Chasm: Yeah! If you're falling off a cliff, you might as well try to fly!
(Everyone stares)
Sa'ar Chasm: I'll go now.

Zeke: Ehh, we'll be fine. We just need to keep level heads and, above all, not look down.
(Everyone, including Zeke, immediately looks down.)
Zeke, Kira, Marc, IJD, and Derek: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!
See, this is what I was worried about in Part 2.

Excellent conclusion, Zeke.


Several of its scenes have also inspired homages or followup gags in other fivers.
Yep. I've even been known to do it once or twice myself.

Your retrospective was great, Zeke. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for writing the parody that launched a thousand fivers (or whatever).

(btw, the page title for your retrospective still says Kira)

evay 08-04-2005 02:00 PM


Carnie: Hey! That was MY sheet of paper! I'm making a list of how many suckers are born each minute!
Zeke: Tell me about it. Do you have any idea how many are born in five?

Zeke: "Park closed due to no longer being dramatically necessary." Figures.
hee hee hee I love metafiction.

Sa'ar Chasm 08-04-2005 04:21 PM


Sa'ar Chasm: Yeah! If you're falling off a cliff, you might as well try to fly!
(Everyone stares)
Sa'ar Chasm: I'll go now.
Holy unexpected cameo, Batman!


Marc: Destructive interference of light waves. That's also why the sky is blue.
*squelches pedantic rant and tells himself it's a joke*


Zeke: Well, that was interesting. It turns out there are no people anywhere in the world.

Marc: You don't say.


Zeke: Not a problem. I have seven days left to find one of them. They can run, but they can't hide....




Zeke: Okay, maybe they can hide. I need a better plan.


Derek: (behind Zeke) BOO!

Zeke: GAH!

I've had ICQ conversations like that, only without Derek or Zeke.


(Derek clubs Zeke over the head with his FBI bazooka and takes off.)
He still has that?


Guy Behind Hoodied Man In Line: Oo! Permission! (KICK)
*snicker* Such a Canadian reaction.


Scooter: Like a transmitter. Round and massive, somewhere slam-bang in the middle of Toronto.
Isn't Canada's Wonderland in Niagara Falls or something? And did anyone else think he was talking about the CN tower?


Zeke: Must everyone make a dummy out of me?
Better a dummy than a monkey. You've taken self-deprecation to rareified heights. It's asking for an oxygen tank.


Samara: This is our fantasy, remember? We can change things. Observe.

(Samara gradually shifts into --)

Marc: Voilą.
That took some doing.


Kira: (shaking Zeke by the shirt) We don't have time for "soon"! We need another cliffhanger NOW!
Or a high-level cleric or a few gallons of holy water or just lots and lots of guns.

Top form, Zeke. Oh, and self-deprecation caught altitude sickness and wandered into a fissure in its delirium.

Also: ovipositor *twitch*

Nan 08-04-2005 07:25 PM


Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
Holy unexpected cameo, Batman!

Indeed! Also...


Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
I've had ICQ conversations like that, only without Derek or Zeke.


(Scott Kurtz did it first)

Awesome work, Z! Truly, hilarity all round! :D

KillerGodMan 08-05-2005 12:49 AM

Yayness! 'Tis awesome!

SCMoll 08-05-2005 02:11 AM


Originally Posted by Scooter
Holy rusted metal, Batman--I have lines! Fantastic. :) (Thanks for saving me, SC...)!

You're welcome, sir.

I loved the bit lifted from "Rose," but the whole final Cliffhangers was excellent, too.

NAHTMMM 08-05-2005 04:54 AM

Oooooooooooo :D :D

*gets down to reading*

Good stuff in the Retrospective, Zeke. :)


According to Zeke, in a recent poll of 5MV readers, the fiver was given an average rating of π2 out of 10. "It's funny how that worked out," comments Dr. Cutlass. "Pi is a transcendental number, so it can't be the average of a set of integers, and its square can't either. Also, I don't remember anything about a poll being posted on the website. Or the forums. Or the LiveJournal. Makes you think."
Obviously it was a misprint/miscalculation. Instead of Pi^2/10 it should have read "Pi^2/6".


Zeke: Ziing! The extra I means extra zing!


Sa'ar Chasm: Yeah! If you're falling off a cliff, you might as well try to fly!
(Everyone stares)
Sa'ar Chasm: I'll go now.


eke: Naturally. Back in the old days, moviemakers understood that horror isn't about gore and violence. It's about the slow burn, the building up of terror. They weren't willing to trade genuine fear for cheap startle shots. Now modern directors, with their Freddies and their Jasons, they don't get....

(Kira suddenly perks up. As Zeke continues his rant, she beckons the other three and starts whispering something. One by one, they nod. Kira grins evilly.)

Zeke: ...I mean come on, if you just take a step back and realize you're making a horror film about the Tooth Fairy, how can you live with yourself? Okay, I'm done. ....Guys?

(Zeke looks around, but he can't see anyone else. Everything has gone dark. Then, without warning, he finds himself tied to a chair in front of a TV set, on which strange black-and-white images start to appear.)

Zeke: Oh no. NO! Get me out of here!

(Zeke squirms desperately, but can't escape. The images continue, ending with a decrepit-looking stone well in the middle of a field. The TV goes into static and then turns off.)
Bwahahahaha! :D


Zeke: I'll say. Made me wonder if there were some mysterious forces working against me. But if so, the joke's on them.

Marc: Oh?

Zeke: Yep. I just got myself a blank tape, a microscope, and a really precise magnet, and copied every inch of the video by hand. It took nine hours, but it was worth it. Now I just need to show someone this video and I'm home free.

(Zeke walks out the door again. The other four exchange glances.)

IJD: Right. Forgot he was nuts.
ROFL! :lol: fact, ROFL at the entire rest of it, especially Nan's cameo :lol:.

Anonymous 08-05-2005 01:38 PM

wow! What a great retrospective! I still remember way back then... it's great isnt' it? ;) I remember sending in my first guest fiver and being told it was too long... sigh how the mighty have fallen. ;)

PointyHairedJedi 08-05-2005 04:49 PM


Zeke: Ziing! The extra I means extra zing!
Pokey the Penguin strikes again! :shock:

Most excellent stuff, of wise master Zeke and mistr...err... Kira. A most fitting conclusion to the event indeed (OR IS IT?).

One teeny tiny thing though - it's Nestene Conciousness, not Nesting, unless that was intentional.

Xeroc 08-05-2005 11:44 PM

Wow! :D

Awesome comic fiver!

That was a truly great retrospective, Zeke!

I must say, the Cliffhangers' 7! WAS THE BEST!

... - OR WILL IT?

Opium 08-06-2005 12:44 AM


Great Fiver, great fiver, great fiver!

Sa'ar Chasm 08-06-2005 01:25 AM

I thought having Riker actually wear 5 rank pips in the second last panel was a nice touch.

Kira 08-06-2005 07:05 PM

The fourth-to-last, too, although it's a longer shot. And take a closer look at Picard in the third-to-last panel....

danieldoof 08-06-2005 11:54 PM

that is cool
at first I read it with the sun shining on my screen so I didn't notice it.....

Zeke 08-07-2005 05:03 AM

Yeah, we were all impressed with the rank pips when Kira first showed us this. Attention to detail, yo. Here's to this being only the beginning of Kira's comic-making career.


Originally Posted by PointyHairedJedi

Zeke: Ziing! The extra I means extra zing!
Pokey the Penguin strikes again! :shock:

Yep. One of my all-time favourite Pokeys.


One teeny tiny thing though - it's Nestene Conciousness, not Nesting, unless that was intentional.
It is? Huh. I've only watched Ninth Doctor episodes so far, but I understand this particular villain has a history on DW, and the "dummies" in question are called Autons. Makes sense that the race would have a name too. Don't think less of me for assuming "Nesting," though. Sounded just like it.

(For those who haven't seen it, most of the Sunday segment is a riff on "Rose," the pilot of the current Doctor Who series.)

NAHTMMM: Clever. You know that makes you a square, though. ;)

Finally, allow me to gently nudge your attention to the last line of Sa'ar's first post. It's not just random oddness.

Space Tree 08-07-2005 06:08 AM

Just joined the forums after many a year of reading the fivers.

But anyway, Cliffhanger "Week" was great. Only fitting it should come to an end on my birthday (go figure).

But enough about me! Oh, wait. That's all I had to say. Oops.

[insert witty closing here]

KillerGodMan 08-07-2005 12:19 PM


Originally Posted by Space Tree
[insert witty closing here]

Assimilate This!


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