The Five-Minute Forums

The Five-Minute Forums (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/index.php)
-   Fiver By Committee (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=14)
-   -   Block 2-2: Politics as usual (http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1582)

Zeke 08-02-2010 07:10 AM

Block 2-2: Politics as usual
 
The stage is set; time to finally meet a couple of our main characters. First we have President Whitmore (Bill Pullman), who's loosely Clinton-based but reminds me more of B5's John Sheridan. He wakes up next to his young daughter, takes a call from his wife, and then briefly talks politics with his communications director, Constance; finally the SecDef calls with the big news. Constance, as we'll find out later, is the ex-wife of...

David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum), who's playing chess with his dad in Central Park. His dad -- named Julius in the film, Moishe in the script -- is a Jewish cliche, so naturally he's nagging his son. David then goes to his job at a cable company, where his boss Marty, who's been trying to reach him for a while, is in a panic -- all the satellites in Earth orbit have suddenly stopped responding.

One or two scenes for each paragraph, ideally not two for both. (Personally, I'd leave out Constance's first appearance; we can establish her later.) Script's still here.

Side note: The First Lady is played by Mary McDonnell, who was already famous at this point for Dances With Wolves, but is best known these days as BSG's Laura Roslin. Naturally this is prime reference fodder, especially since there's a scene where she's dying.

NAHTMMM 08-02-2010 02:56 PM

Patricia: I wuv my daddy!
Constance: The evil, heartless media is picking on you!
President Whitmore: Now that I've been sufficiently demonstrated to be a Good Guy, let's give the audience what they came for: two men playing chess.

David: Geez, what's going to kill this planet first: your disregard for ecological concerns, or the alien ship screwing with television reception?
Julius: Probably both.




And because someone had to say it . . .


Satellite: In Soviet Russia, satellite smashes YOU!
Mothership: Are we *in* Soviet Russia?
Satellite: Er, no.
Mothership: Well, then . . .

NAHTMMM 08-20-2010 11:11 PM

My second scene might be a bit weak, but I think the first one's pretty good. What do you all think? Funny? Not?

PointyHairedJedi 08-27-2010 09:08 PM

"Habitably" makes me wince.

Here's my stab at a first block; I'll have to go and think about the second (I quite like yours, NAH, but it's maybe a bit too short).

Quote:

President Whitmore: Ah, Constance, walk with me.
Constance: I'm afraid I have to report that as far as the media is concerned, the sheen has come off your presidency.
Whitmore: Any suggestions?
Constance: We could have our meetings in offices like normal people, for starters.
It doesn't quite cover all the bases, I know. Needs work!

NAHTMMM 08-27-2010 09:49 PM

Heh. About the only way any scene I write could be "too short" would be by tempting me to allow myself an overlong scene later on in the belief that "It all averages out". :p

That said, there's room for a line by the President's wife. I don't know what she'd say, though. The obvious line is to the effect of "You're cheating on me?" but that would sidetrack my snarky, deconstructionist version. Maybe a throwaway line "Wait, what's this about a blonde?"

I do feel like another meta-line, about "I am trying to keep my family in line and failing adorably" or something, would be too much. I'm not familiar with Dances With Wolves or BSG, so maybe someone can come up with something based on one or the other.



Anyway, your scene is funny, too. :)

NAHTMMM 09-22-2010 09:32 PM

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Nate the Great 09-26-2010 07:18 AM

Besides "It might be a good idea to work on a second comver simultaneously"?

NAHTMMM 01-07-2011 06:48 PM

Patricia: I wuv my daddy!
Constance: The evil, heartless media is picking on you!
President Whitmore: Now that I've been sufficiently demonstrated to be a Good Guy, let's give the audience what they came for: two men playing chess.

David: Geez, what's going to kill this planet first: your disregard for ecological concerns, or the alien ship screwing with television reception?
Julius: Why don't you focus on smaller matters first, like cleaning up your love life?
David: Because it's so much more fun to yell at others about cleaning up the world. Speaking of which, gotta get to my workplace. People have been putting bottles in the trash can all week, and I'm looking forward to throwing a tantrum about it.

NAHTMMM 08-01-2011 07:42 PM

After giving it a great deal of careful, selfless, objective consideration, I think we should add a line about how awesome certain seven-letter acronyms are. The President could say it, or maybe there could be a random Greek chorus hired for the purpose.

*nods solemnly*

NAHTMMM 09-14-2012 06:34 PM

Given the announced titles for the sequels, we'll probably want to work "forever" in at some point.

Nate the Great 09-14-2012 11:01 PM

Something tells me this comver will never be finished.

NAHTMMM 09-16-2012 09:26 PM

That would be a shame. I have so many terrible jokes and so much cutting sarcasm for this movie. :(

Wowbagger 09-17-2013 03:56 AM

PROPOSAL:

Invoke the Lockean right of revolution against intolerable governance. Throw off the authority of Zeke as head of the Fiver by Committee Committee. Establish a Revolutionary Fiver by Committee Committee. I propose the name "The Revolutionary People's Front for Fivers by Comittee in Popular Equality" (RPFFCPE). Hold elections to find a Fiver By Committeeperson who will represent the People's interests and facilitate Fivers By Committee with the consent of the governed.

Make an awesome Fiver By Committee.

EDIT: Oops. NAHTMMM's post wasn't today; it was a year ago today. Sorry for necroposting.

evay 09-17-2013 04:55 PM

Splitter! The only true organization which represents the will of the people is the People's Front of the Revolution for Fivers by Comittee in Popular Equality (PFRFCPE).

NAHTMMM 09-25-2013 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wowbagger (Post 79751)
EDIT: Oops. NAHTMMM's post wasn't today; it was a year ago today. Sorry for necroposting.

Feh. It's not necroposting if it's the last post in the whole forum. :)

Flying Gremlin 06-25-2015 11:48 PM

Now it's necro-posting. (Yes, me registering, posting and getting activity here was all a set-up to a bad necro-posting joke. Hahaha, ouch my sides. Please stop stabbing me.)

I really wanted to contribute to this. Here. Be gentle.




Quote:

Panel host (on TV): Man does the President stink. He's a wuss, a weenie, a Miss Prissy Pants, a coward-
President Whitmore: Doesn't the news have anything better to report?
Panel host: And we'll be right back on Fox News.
Whitmore: Never mind. Don't let it rot your brain, sweetie.
Patricia Whitmore: And Letterman is much better?
Whitmore: ...I'll just leave now.
Quote:

Constance: Everyone hates you.
Whitmore: I wish there was some form of crisis that would unite us against a common enemy to show everyone else that I am really a great leader.
Constance: HA! Over your wife's dead body.
And I couldn't help it either:

Quote:

David: I'm slow and steady at playing chess.
Julius: Well, I'm not. Checkmate!
David: That's not what is supposed to happen! In the original, I beat you with meticulously thought out moves and good strategy.
Julius: This is a fiver. We do everything faster here.


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:49 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.