Which Question?
 

Which of these questions would you rather be asked?

Aren't you going to include "What is your quest" and "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow" in there? :)

Never ask that question!

But personally I'd like to be asked "Hold! What you are doing to us is wrong! Why do you do this thing?"

Wait, no, come to think of it, I wouldn't. But that's my obscure reference for the day (assuming of course "Never ask that question!" isn't obscure).

Well, if we can choose the language as well as the question, then I'd want "what do you want" spoken in Klingon, since it's the closest thing to a greeting that they have.

Who are you?

Who, who? Who, who?


Great, now that's in my head.

Why are you here? Who are you? and What do you want? mean you're going to be a pawn in the hands of advanced aliens, Where are you going? means you'll be heading there very soon.

As for the last one...ummm...an ostrich.

Who is Number One?

Hm, considering What do you want? and Why are you here? require Deep Thought, and considering that I'll have to mention a lot of names, nicknames and such to answer Who are you?, and I don't even like speaking in public, I guess I'll go with Where are you going?. Plain question, plain answer. Unless I'm dying when you ask that, because in that case, I probably won't want to answer and spoil the effect.

I'm not even going to consider making up an answer for that last one.