[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here we go again with another of these epics...maybe... :O...

Episode I: The Ghosty Menace:

(Scene: A darkened window, at night. A chilly breeze gusts by, rattling the dead brown leaves on nearby trees as it goes. Suitable theme music plays softly in the background. Ooooh, spooky. :D)
Ghost: Wooooooooooooooo
Derek: Zz...Mmmph...wha? What was that? Did you hear anything?
MmeBlueberry: Zzzzz...
"Owl": Woo. Woo.
Derek: [i:post_uid0]"Woo"[/i:post_uid0]?
"Owl": Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Derek: Oh, it's just an owl that doesn't know how to pronounce "who". And a really cheesy theme tune. ...Zzzz...
Me: I resent that. The [i:post_uid0]Ghostbusters[/i:post_uid0] tune fits this Bored at School fiver perfectly.
Ghost: Whew.
Draknek: Now *that* was lame. Is that all the ghost can say, is stuff that rhymes with "moo"?

O'Pipp: Don't mind me, I'm just [color=A8A8A8:post_uid0]playing[/color:post_uid0] with all the new [color=FF8040:post_uid0]colors[/color:post_uid0] we've got here. Like [color=00FF00:post_uid0]this[/color:post_uid0]. Of course, [color=red:post_uid0]red's[/color:post_uid0] a good color for a pointy-eared Jonas killer like me....Now where did that eeevil Jonas get to...?

[i:post_uid0]Next morning...[/i:post_uid0]
NAHTMMM: Urgh...
Sax: That's what you get for pepperin' your vodka, lad.
NAH: Meester Sax, do you believe in ghosts?
Sax: Well, Mr. Nahtmmm, a man sees quite a few strange things in space, but I daresay no, I don't believe in that particular item.
NAH: Let me be more particular, sir...Sometime last night, when it was wery wery quiet, did a ghost knock on your door and ask you to boldly go where no man has gone before?
Sax: You do realize nobody else is going to pick up on this reference.
NAH: I know, I couldn't help it. I mean, it actually fit. A bit.

Naraht: I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamed I was being followed around my home by the Manhattan phone book. Only it was much thicker. As if that were even possible.
Katy Jane: i get the oddest feeling about this...

Siren: WOOP! WOOP! WOOOP!
FatMat: What the frell's that for?!
NAH: It just means we're entering Corny Movie Mode, in which we make fun of Every Relevant Movie Ever Made. Why? Because I felt like it. Everyone reading this, please back up your brain's hard drive at this time. Things are going to get really painfully cheesy after now. Done? Then you may continue.

Katy Jane: Aha! I think I know what everyone saw--
Audience: So do we, c'mon and get this over with!
Katy Jane: No! Obviously, I'm the naive brains of the good-guy side in this mystery-ish movie, so guess what I get to do?
mudshark: Use special knowledge that you in particular have, in order to have a brilliant insight? But you're reluctant to share it with everyone else because if you're wrong, everyone will make fun of you and you won't be the smart one of the bunch and if you're right, the movie ends before it's halfway done? So you conduct a foolish experiment in hopes of proving or disproving your theory?
Katy Jane: exactly. :D
mudshark: ...Only you get more than you bargained for and you mysteriously disappear, but leave a cryptic note behind to confound us when we search your room for no good reason, thus keeping the audience on the edge of their seats, waiting for us to get a grip and figure it out already?
Katy Jane: whoops, forgot about that part [img:post_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img:post_uid0]

Katy Jane: La lala la, setting a trap...
Ghost: Dum-de-dum, ooo...Bait.
Katy Jane: I gotcha!
Ghost: ??
Katy Jane: No doubt that's a very significant plot device that will be used later on. Hint hint.
Audience: Fine, fine. You don't have to rub it into our faces.
Katy Jane: Yes I do, didn't you notice the Alert? But for now, *ahem* Capture of ghosty thingy. gloating
Ghost: Correction that I have you. Better gloating. Evil emoticon. Kidnapping, leading to a mysterious disappearance that will likely confound the others for most of the rest of the movie.
Katy Jane: Oops! Request that we wait so I can write the cryptic note that I forgot to write.
Ghost: Acquiesence despite lack of a good reason for doing so.

PointyHairedJedi: Lalalala, walking into Katy Jane's room with the absurd idea that she would have left a note or something explaining her disappearance...
NeoMatrix: Lessee, I'm supposed to act like I'm actually looking at three random parts of the room, then head straight to where the script says to find the cryptic note: on the floor, under the open window.
PointyHairedJedi: Hah, beat you to it. That'll teach you to dawdle like you're actually paying attention to the rest of the room. Hmmm... (reads to himself) [i:post_uid0]oblique reference to notion as to what the ghosty-thingy is. Suggestion to beware...warning to be afraid. realness of ghosts...insertion of several more cryptic remarks...[/i:post_uid0] Oh, I don't need to read any further. Jeez, Katy, it's supposed to be [i:post_uid0]cryptic[/i:post_uid0]. This is blatantly obvious. Exposure of the ghost's identity.
NeoMatrix: It is? I mean, it is. Really. Uh-huh.
Ghost: Disgust at having to kidnap both of you too. Decision not to allow any more cryptic notes.
NeoMatrix and PointyHairedJedi: Aw, shoot.

Ghost: Foreboding evil statement of intent to eat everyone alive. Evil laughter.

[i:post_uid0]To be continued...?[/i:post_uid0]
Celeste: It better be, because I didn't get a single line in there! More! or else... :twirls pointy metal implements of torture with a gleam in her eye:
Me: Considering that the next order of business is probably to run the running joke concerning the thing's unstoppableness into the ground, and that we'll likely do so by throwing everything including the kitchen sink and several Death Stars at it, I suspect you're going to get a lot of lines.
Celeste: Yippee! [color=white:post_uid0]'[/color:post_uid0]:D Can my dog be in it? Her name's Riley and she's adorable and...
Me: Um, I dunno...we'll have to see...
Sa'ar Chasm: And me? Can I be in one?
Nan: Haven't you just answered your own question?



You are now leaving Corny Movie Mode. Congratulations on surviving it! :)
Redshirt: :dead:
Never mind... [img:post_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img:post_uid0]



Looks like this is just gonna set things up...not the funniest thing I've ever written.... [img:post_uid0]http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/forums/html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img:post_uid0] Oh well.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well that was...strange. *g*

*Sa'ar Chasm demands a cameo*[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The BaW fivers were before your time, Sa'ar. And that's one mother of a long one.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]The BaW fivers were before your time, Sa'ar. [/quote:post_uid0]

Pretty much everything around here is before my time.

I think Zeke explained the basic concept to me at one point.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Baw?

*blank look*

Eh, it's better than endless 'shipping. *gagging noises*

Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hey, don't knock the Board at Work fivers. They're my invention and I demand copywright rights![/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yours were classic, Celeste. No contest.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think I've been demoted...going from one or two lines to [i:post_uid0]sleeping[/i:post_uid0] in a BaS fiver? Sigh.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Kira"]Yours were classic, Celeste. No contest.[/quote:post_uid0]
Agreed. :)

And Sa'ar, I went back and added you in. In case you didn't already notice. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]And Sa'ar, I went back and added you in. In case you didn't already notice. [/quote:post_uid0]

*happyskippy dance*

I meant a cameo in the next one, but this works as well. Danke.[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="MmeBlueberry"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I think I've been demoted...going from one or two lines to [i:post_uid0]sleeping[/i:post_uid0] in a BaS fiver? Sigh.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I wasn't in it at all. So it could be worse.

*pouts*[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yes, Celeste's were classic. And I think mine were an adiquate facsimile. [i:post_uid0]Adiquate, damn you![/i:post_uid0]

And I got a scene - awesome. Nice job NAH.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I never got in these either. I think the most I managed was a passing reference to one of my websites in one of Celeste's BAW fivers. Now isn't that something!!! :)

(And no, I dont think I'll bother writing one myself this time round. I have this rare illness that makes everything I type come out as rubbish! It's a disease that normally only affects politicians. )[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Me is stupid. Baw fiver?





Nan, all happy because her art page is back up!

POST EDIT: But the JavaScript is not working, so she is MAD![/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]BaW Fiver[/b:post_uid0] Bored at Work Fiver: the brain-child of Celeste, a parody about the fora goers, fiver style, that were written while she was bored, at work. See also: BaS Fiver, BaC Fiver, BaSomething Fiver, and Board Fiver.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]well i hope somebody continues it so i can be found, i'm sick of being missing. I'm getting lost in the plretha of postings :( (dont say anything. i know i didnt spell it right :p )[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, *you* could continue it, Katy. I wouldn't mind. :)[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]i could but it might be a couple weeks before i can get online again. :crying:[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Woo hoo, I have lines. Thanks :) *looks at three random parts of the room* Whoa[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I would continue it if I had any skills at fivers at all. And if I weren't a n00b... :mad:[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]This is my first attempt at one of these, so be kind.

[i:post_uid0]Star Trek: The Five-Minute Generation[/i:post_uid0]

Episode #47 - "Apostrophe of Fear", Part I

Riker:...so then this big-ass Borg ship appears, and Worf is like "We should raise the sheilds!", and I'm like, whatever.
(Riker reaches over to the captains chair and turns around a sign sitting on it)
Placard: VERY GOOD NUMBER ONE
Troi: You know that directly contavenes the Pun Directive.
Redshirt: GAK!
Riker: That really does defy words....
Placard: VERY GOOD NUMBER ONE
(A ship appears on the viewscreen)
Worf: Red alert! Raise shields! Prepare to fire at will!
Riker: Hey! No-one gave any orders yet!
(Worf sommersaults over the security console and flips the sign)
Placard: MAKE IT SO
Worf: Hah! Worf 1, Riker 0!

Marc: Yes, yes, all very funny, but is this actually going anywhere?
PointyHairedJedi: Don't look at me; I just do what the voices tell me.
Sax: Though I should point out that that particular excuse doesn't hold up in court.
PointyHairedJedi: Sigh. Lets just go back to the fiver shall we?

(FatMat appears on the viewscreen)
FatMat: We are the ZonK Collective! Resistance is futile!
Riker: Egad! Fire, Worf!
Worf: Oh, so now you want me fire?
Troi: I'm sensing...extreme vexation.
Riker: TOO LAAAATE!!!!!
(Pause)
FatMat: Was that my cue? Oh, hang on.
Enterprise: KABLAMMO!

MPQ: There wasn't any real point to that, was there?
Kira: HAHAHAHA! Oh, thats a good one. A point to a fiver. I'll have to rememer that.

Celeste: So what happens next?
PointyHairedJedi: We could mention your dog...
Riley: Woof.
Merlin Missy: Hehe.
All: Get on with it!

[i:post_uid0]Meanwhile, the ZonK Collective fleet approaches Earth[/i:post_uid0]

All: Eep!
Sa'ar: We're doomed!
Katy Jane: Only if you don't like ZonK.
IJD: Is that actually possile?
PointyHairedJedi: We must come up with a plan to stop them at all costs!
Nan: You mean you don't have one? But you're writing this thing!
PointyHairedJedi: Well, it's a case of the left lobe doesn't know that the right lobe is doing.

(Cut to bunker somewhere in deepest, darkest Solihull)
Zuke: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I'm using multiple excalmation points and no-one can stop me!!!

FatMat: That's just evil! We must put aside our differences and stop Zuke's evil menace at all costs!
Sax: Wait, how did we get here?
Celeste: Who cares? We get to kick some Zuke butt again!

[i:post_uid0]To be continued...[/i:post_uid0]


Whadya think? I woulda made it longer, but sleep takes priority.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]grr...I wasn't mentioned again...You'd think I'd get mentioned in at least one as one of the supporters of Zuke...or the highest-ranked (in terms of posts) newb... Guess lest than amonth is not enough for someone to "integrate" themselves into the fiver culture...I'll just go off and sulk... :( :dead: :crying:[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Whadya think?[/quote:post_uid0]

:smile: Very funny![/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Four words:

Hill. Air. E. Us.

Think about it.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Sa'ar: We're doomed![/quote:post_uid0]

Great. I get to be the droid. *g*

[quote:post_uid0]Guess lest than amonth is not enough for someone to "integrate" themselves into the fiver culture.[/quote:post_uid0]

Took me about three.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I WAS MENTIONED! I WAS MENTIONED! WOO!

*ahem*

Very good, Pointy. ;)



~Nan, apparently a brainiac[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]get a line...Sorry if I sounded all whiney-like...I get like that when I'm about to sleep.

I thought it was very funny. That third smiley, he was crying with laughter.

EDIT: He mentioned ALL twice. Maybe I [i:post_uid0]did[/i:post_uid0] get a line....Thanks![/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]My own try at a BaS Fiver.

Teacher: Wah blah blah blah. Waw wah wah blah waaah.
Captain Galactic: :zzz:
Teacher: WAAAAW!!! BLAH BLA BLAH!!
Captain Galactic: Whaaa...Oh! 47.
Teacher: Cowect. Gimmie that doughnut.

Ms. Raaum is a :swear: ing piece of :swear: ...Sorry, just hate her. Just 4 more hours...:smile:

Crud. I gotta go. She's right behind me. Hopefully her nasty perfume won't make me :dead: ...hope she wore deoderant. That's a biohazard too. I saw U.N. inspecters crawing out of her armpits once. No lie.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Don't worry, CG. I plan to include you (and your Nicarguan space-station) in the next one. I woulda put in that one, but as I said, I was falling asleep at the keyboard at that point)[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I particularly liked the Captain Placard pun.

*bleepbleepwhirrrrbeeeep!*

What's that, Artoo? Yes, I'll tell him. Artoo liked it too. It's not his fault that he can't talk properly.

*electronic raspberry*

Show some manners, you clanking pile of <*Chewbacca rips off Sa'ar's arm and beats him to death with it*>

*Several minutes later, after RDIS kicks in*

Sorry about all that. Don't know what got into me.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wakkawaaa!!! Thanks, PHJ! :D[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Asking if he will get a cameo in the next BaW.

Realization that he is talking in 'Topic Title' format.

Emoticon.

[i:post_uid0]Edit:[/i:post_uid0]Edit[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Praise over Baw fiver.

Comment that thoughts are easier to convey in Topic Title format.

Surprise that one does not have to post at least five times a day to be in Baw fiver.

More praise.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Nice CG I learned a lot: when your teacher's not a trombone, she's a cross between Homer Simpson and Homestar.

But, yes - awexome.[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="MPQ"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Praise over Baw fiver.

Comment that thoughts are easier to convey in Topic Title format.

Surprise that one does not have to post at least five times a day to be in Baw fiver.

More praise.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Long live Topic Title

Maybe we can develop relationships as time goes along in the BAWs, like S/C - Sax/Celeste

Its not that posting 5 times a day gets you in a BAW fiver, its the impact you have on other people in the times you do post.[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Maybe we can develop relationships as time goes along in the BAWs, like S/C - Sax/Celeste[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ehhh.. I'm taken. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Scarily enough, ZonK started out that way too...[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Actually, ZonK started out in reality before it was a BaW 'ship. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well that just about shoots my synchronsity theory out of the sky then.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"]Well that just about shoots my synchronsity theory out of the sky then.[/quote:post_uid0]
Is synchronsity a real word?[/color:post_uid0]