I had a few potential running gags in mind. I think the arc reactor takes the place of transistors in the original version of Iron Man, so I wanted to drop those in somewhere. Somehow I came up with two lines for Obadiah Stane as a Yosemite Sam type, but I feel like they might both be hard to do well. Also Iron Man trying to come up with a good superhero name.
Rhodey: Give it up for Tony Stark, an awesome American child genius who built an awesome jet engine out of transistors when he was twelve and inherited his dad's awesome American weapons company! Tonight we present him with a You're So Awesome Award and, uh . . . Obadiah, where is he?
Stane: Haha, that Tony, such a scamp. Probably working hard and definitely not undercutting his public image I work so hard to cultivate.
Potts: Wakey wakey, time to take out the trash!
Young Idealistic Reporter: Is the antagonism because I oppose the military-industrial complex that you've built your comfortable lifestyle on, or because your boss seduced me?
Potts: Guess.
Stark: Time for a demonstration of my new missile. You see those mountains over there?
Military Guy: No?
Stark: Exactly. I flattened them while you were still getting out of your cars. Now, who wants booze?
Stark: Here's a list of what I'll need.
Bad Guy: We have ten tons of iron, some vinegar and baking soda, half a roll of duct tape, and a guy who can flip your worldview and then die to progress your character arc.
Stark: Do you at least have transistors? I can't make anything cool without transistors.
Bad Guy: Yes, we've all heard about the engine.
Stane: If there's anything I hates more than a dissolute heir who scares away investors . . . it's a dissolute heir who gets morals and scares away investors.
Stark's personal log: I tried out the rocket additions to my suit today . . .
(Flashback to Stark wildly careening around and smashing into cars.)
In retrospect, maybe it was a bad idea to borrow Jay Leno's garage for this part.
Jarvis: If I may sir, your action figures would be more marketable if the suit were red.
Stark: Okay, but leave some gold around the booster rockets. Then I can still call myself --
Jarvis: No you can't.
Fighter pilot: Hey, there's some kind of man of steel killing bad guys and flying around. Should we attack him in a cool action sequence?
Rhodey: Hmm. Tony, you know anything about a flying iron man?
Stark: I haven't a clue.
(PEW PEW PEW)
Stark: Okay, I might have a clue. But you can't call me Iron Man, I don't want to be sued by Metallica.
Rhodey: What if we hyphenate it and add an adjective?
Stark: Hmm, the Amazing Iron-man. It does appeal to my ego . . .
or
Stark: Stop shooting at me! It's me up here in a rocket-powered armor suit!
Rhodey: What are you, some kind of superhero now? What do you call yourself?
Stark: Well, I made the first suit in a cave, and Dad idolized Captain America, so I was thinking I could be Captain Caveman?
Underling: Here's your suit, boss. It's bigger and more menacing than Stark's, plus it has more cupholders.
Stane: Good. All it needs is a cool name of its own, something that will appeal to stockholders and the public alike. Jerry! Brainstorm some ideas and try them on a focus group!
Stane: You think you're so special, Tony. Well, you may be a legally distinct Iron Man, but I am -- Metal Guy!
Stark: With a name like that, I bet it would take a whole three seconds for Mega Man to defeat you.
Stark: Up, up, and away!
Stark: I dare you to fly this high!
Stane: Done.
Stark: I dare you to fly this high!
Stane: Done. You do realize there are no cliffs up here to trick me into running off of? Oh no, I'm under attack by atmospheric physics!
Stark: I was hoping an airplane or a UFO would hit you, but that works too.
Stark: I'd like to start this press conference by reading this sticky note --
Reporter: Is there any truth to the rumor that there's a huge banner behind you right now that says "IT'S ME, I AM THE AMAZING IRON-MAN"?
Stark: I was working my way up to that.
(Stark soaks up the attention at Ferrous Speed)
Nick Fury: Yo, comics fans. Get a load of me and get ready for years of sitting through twenty minutes of credits to watch a ten-second scene.
