Run for Executive Producer
 

In response to Paramount's decision to elect a new Executive Producer of Star Trek[1], I am officially announcing to the community my intention to run for this position. As I am a memebr of the Star Trek community, I will always keep the community in mind, if I am elected to this position. I swear, that if the voters elect me, I will implement a sweeping reform of continuity. I will listen to the 99.9% and decrease the sex on Enterprise. [1] And, I most solemnly swear that if I am elected to Executive Producer, I will personally eliminate all Nazis from all future episodes of Star Trek and eliminate any member of my staff that brings me a Nazi story idea. I hope that the FMV community will back me when I make my application to Paramount to be a candidate next week. [2]

[1] TJI 41
[2] TJI 42

(Don't the reference things make this look so much more professional? :wink:)

Re: Run for Executive Producer
 

Oh, definitely ;)



Continuity reform sounds nice. A lack of Nazis sounds good, although you might have to bend that pledge for the first episode or two just to say you got rid of them. Listening to the majority is a good idea.


But what about the other election year issues? Do you support a guest appearance by Shatner? What (if anything) do you intend to do with the underused (some would say overused) Travis and Hoshi? What direction do you envision taking with the Temporal Cold War and with the entire series once the Xindi Arc is over? How susceptible are you to Special Interest groups and Product Placement types' bribery? Most important of all, if elected will you cut taxes?

Yes, your platform sounds sturdy, but as NAHTMMM said, there are many other issues to be addressed. Like what about the job market? With Enterprise in the running jobs for writers, scientific sonsultants, and continuity experts has gone down dramatically! Or cross-network terrorism? And what about the all-important debates? Are you going to be involved in any of those - and if so, do you have any idea when? Good Luck!

In fact, do we even know who can vote yet? Or if any of us can even run?

Heck, If anyone can run, I should run too! I would (of course) address all those issues and more! Let the best person win!

Re: Run for Executive Producer
 

How far are you going when you say "eliminate"?

Also, will you increase funds to NASA? What is your stance on knowledge of the computer industry so we can avoid errors like downloading something means deleting it from the host, etc.? Most importantly, what is your favorite kind of pie?

Re: Run for Executive Producer
 

Yes, the alien Nazis may have to be explained, oh, say, in the first 30 seconds of the first episode. My apologies for the lack of clarity.

I will support a guest appearance if and when I believe that such an event would benefit the series as a whole. The Travis and Hoshi issue is one I will have to discuss with the writing staff, if we cannot find a better use for those characters, we may have to remove them from the series.

I don't want to discuss my plans too much for the series during Season 4. But, in Season 4 the Temporal Cold War will be focused on, and will probably be resolved near mid-season, and I don't envision another major story arc until Season 5.

I will not accept any kind of bribe from any group. Hmmm...taxes...uhhh...sure! Huge tax cuts for everyone!

I will make sure that we will hire the best writers, consultants, and experts needed to dramatically improve the quality of the show. I want to make sure that viewers will see only the very best and highest quality episodes that can be produced!

As soon as I am in office, hundreds of thousands of Paramount servicemen and women will be deployed across the world in the war on cross-network terror. By bringing hope to the oppressed, and delivering justice to the violent, they will make the world more secure.

I will make every effort to participate in at least one debate with each and every candidate for the position. However, since the list of the candidates will not be finalized for another two weeks at the earliest, dates have not yet been fixed. Rest assured that it is being worked out as we speak.

I believe the friendly people at TJI briefly address this issue in the latest issue.

That depends on the severity of the infraction.

My vision for NASA is to establish a permanent lunar colony and to put a man on Mars be the end of this decade and I will provide NASA with all the funding it needs for these projects and the funding for a massive overhaul of all it's equipment.

Every staff member working on Enterprise will recieve a two-week course on computer terminology and will be expected to recieve a 95 or above on the test at the end of the course. Downloads that go up will no longer be tolerated.

Most definately, the best pie is the pie defined as the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle.

Re: Run for Executive Producer
 

I like this candidate.

Man. The fake elections are ALWAYS more interesting than the real ones.

Mind, pie has been involved in real elections as well. As artillery. :D

To sum up: Mmm... pie...

Re: Run for Executive Producer
 

Really?

well, it says that they haven't decided, so the answer to your question would be no, that was the point I was trying to make :wink:

Asky, I hate to do this, but...

If at all possible, I'm running against you! My platform runs on the thought that in order to know what the people want, you have to be a person. If elected, I plan on scavenging the internet for peoples thoughts, and even going so far as to send out questionaires to those who subscribe to Star Trek magazines.

No more cheesy innuendo, or silly plot twists. I even plan on drafting a banned plot lines list. Even representation of characters is also high on my agenda, with each character recieving at least 2 character development episodes. As well, those developments will be passed on to future episodes.

For the first 7 months of my term, I will have weekly showings of a full season of trek. At the end of the showing a test will be issued. Failure will result in a months suspension until that test, and all other missed tests, can be passed.

My motto? "The three C's: Continuity, Character, and Sensibility - if Sensibiliy started with a C"

Good luck to you, Asky.

Just 2 character development episodes?

Don't you understand character development? Character development is the most important aspect of a TV series! Every episode should develop all of the characters equally and they should keep those developments forever.

Ideally every episode should focus on the characters sitting around in the mess hall talking to each other and becoming self-actualized as people. Some people might say this would be boring, but if you have really interesting characters, you don't need a plot.

And continuity is important too. In these "mess hall chats" I think it would be good if every episode could pick up exactly where the previous left off. What's more, great care should be taken to make sure that the characters never contradict themselves, since people in real life never contradict themselves. And if a character ever changes his mind or his views, it needs to be a big event with special music and long shots at the character's conflicted face.

People say DS9 was big on character development, and I agree it was a good start, but wouldn't it have been so much better if instead of warships and stuff like that, we just had the Female Shapeshifter, Weyoun, Kai Winn, Dukat, Damar, Brunt, the Nagus, Martok, Ross, and all the DS9 crew sitting around Quark's and just talking with each other? Then we would've really understood the Founder's motivations.

So I agree, who cares about plot twists and cheap action sequences? Let's have some REAL character development.

::: laughs for 47 minutes straight :::

I, too, am running against Asky. Well, actually, I'm managing the campaign of someone else: ASCII. He has exactly the same platform, election tactics and campaign strategy as Asky, but with a different name. The target demographic is former Asky voters who may be feeling some irrational disgruntlement based on...well, we'll invent motives as we go.


Same ice cream, slightly different flavour. Let the vote splitting begin!

Since it's an integral part of my scheme to eventual galactic domination anyway, I too must throw my hat into the ring and run for ExecProd of the Star Trek franchise (hey, it's what I eventually dream of doing anyway)

*ehem*

There is only one man who can rid the Star Trek franchise of the evil schenanigans of Boss Rick Berman!
One guy in crowd: Hooray!

I am speaking of course of AN TO DAV (myself) the fighting trekker, the friend of the writing man, THE NEXT EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THIS FRANCHISE! I enter upon this campaign...

WITH ONE PURPOSE ONLY! To point out, and make public, the stupidity, the downright villiany, of Boss Rick Berman's political machine!

Now in COMPLETE CONTROL of the government of Trek!

I make no..."campaign promises"...because until a few minutes ago, I had no hope of being elected (since I wasn't running).

*the crowd laughs*

Now however...I have something more than a hope (the pity of others). And RICK BERMAN...Rick Berman has something less than a chance.

*the crowd cheers and laughs*

Every straw vote (consisting of myself), every independent poll (well, except for the one on the Commodore thread)...shows that I'll be elected!

*cheers*

Now I can afford to make some promises!

*laughter*

The working fan....the working fan...and the slum child, watching Trek on the back of a cardboard box....know they can expect my best efforts in their interests! The decent, ordinary Trek fans know that I'll do everything in my power to protect the underpriviliged (those who don't have UPN), the underpaid (those who can't afford Trek DVD sets), and the underfed (those who only get to watch Trek once a week)!

*cheers*

My fictional 8 year old son: Mother, is pop executive producer yet?
My fictional, gorgeous wife: Not yet, junior.

Well, I'd make my promises now...if I weren't too busy arranging to keep them (bribery, prostitution, etc....).

*laughter*

Here's one promise I'll make! And Boss Rick Berman knows I'll keep it: my first act as executive producer of the Trek franchise...will be to appoint a special smarmy trial lawyer (like my buddy, John Edwards) to arrange for the inditement, persecution...err prosecution...and FLOGGING...of Bosses Rick Berman and Brannon Braga!

*cheers*

*Rick Berman watches from the rafters above me, scheming, and puts on his hat as he walks away to plot my demise*...

YES! I'm in...now I just hope nobody finds out about the affair I had with that singer from the town hall in Trenton, New Jersey....

Antodav

P.S.: If you didn't get the joke behind this post, you really need to watch classic cinema some more.

Naturally I too intend to run. Radical changes are needed on Enterprise, and I believe myself the man to implment them.

First off, we shall discover that Archer has been Evil Future Guy all along, getting beaten up and manipulating the political situation of the time for his own ends. Now, I don't want to reveal too much, but suffice it to say Trip discovers this by following a seemingly innocous chain of events, and upon learning the truth Trip has a dramatic showdown on the bridge with "Archer" and kills him in a fight to the death (I'm thinking by ripping his heart out of his chest, but that's just a provisional outline). Trip then assumes the captaincy of the Enterprise, and later on gets married to both T'Pol and Hoshi (it'll turn out he was a Mormon all along). Now, after this, I figure we'll have a fairly normal season - Reed blows some shit up, Phlox commits genocide a few more times, and Travis turns out to be a changling.

Now, at this point (the season four finalé) a mysterious traveller and his companions will show up, claiming to be time travellers from a parallel reality, one where the events that take place on board the Enterprise are a TV show. This time traveller, whose name is the Physician, will explain that he deliberately jumped into this reality (in his phone-booth shaped ship, the TRADIS) to alter it so that it would comform with the previously established continuity of this alternate dimension TV show (which is known as Star Voyage) so that he can defeat the evil masterminds behind the alteration of the true timeline (the BormanBreega, a hidious two-headed beast). Trip at first is aghast at the idea, but the Physician offers him a bag of jelly-beans and Trip decides it's not such a bad idea after all. The Physican outlines his plan - he will send them into yet another alternate dimension, and by removing the Enterrpise the proper timeline will be put back into place. Some technicobabble and a cliffhanger later, the Enterprise pops into existance in another reality, and season five kicks off from there.

There will be one ir two minor changes to the format of the show too. It will now be called The Trip Tucker Variety Hour, and feature at least one musical number per episode. I also plan to utilize the latest computer technology to create several Trip "clones", who will turn up at various points to deliever hilarious one-liners and occasionally take their shirts off. I've also got some big plans for the look of the whole show - I won't be giving too much away I think if I tell you all that I'm planning on going for a very retro seventies feel with the whole thing.

So, as you can see, I am clearly the man for the job. No one else really can claim to have the same kind of vision for it, and no-one else can truly say that they will improve the show like I will be able to.


This has been a partly political broadcast on behalf of the Vote Pointy! campaign.

I don't want to run, behind the scenes is more my...scene :wink: I am happy to be a campaign manager though! Anyone want to hire me? :mrgreen: I take bribes... :wink:

Oh, GOD almighty....

:roll: Yes? :lol:

Well, now with everyone stating their platforms and all, I better state mine, I after all was the second here to state (more or less) that I was to be running:
Let's see ... I will now demonstrate how I would make Enterprise superior to what it is now...

First I would set up an anti-B&B campain donation fund entitled "Anti-B&B campain donation fund" (never would have guessed would you?) and with the money generated I can run advertising for my campain to unseat B&B, and If that doesn't work, I'll hire an NBC assassin to take care of them.

I'll then use the several billon dollars of contributions from fans of Star Trek left over to fund a 371.42% increase in all aspects of quality for Enterprise (and buy a private island chain in the pacific but that's not important right now).

Naturally there will me much more plot, character development (but not like Derek, oh god no), special effects (but only cool ones, no more cheesy rip-offs like before), and, of course, less sex (because without B&B it'll actually be 100% of fans demanding this).

Of course, I will also hire only the best writers, scientific consultants, and continuity experts.

In terms of the specifics of the season I can't give much away but it will include cool aliens, the TCW, hoshi not losing her shirt for no other reason than to lose her shirt, pie, and, of course, stuff.

So, Vote Xeroc!

Hehehehehehehe....

heh, I kinda agree with ya, Zeke

Elections here, elections at DC...

IT CAN'T BE EVADED!

You should join in, Nan!

Now, just for the fun of it:
*pokes Nan*

Uh-oh.

*Hides behind chair*

Agh, too many jokes here to pick from...


*hides anyway*

Don't poke me, please. It's annoying.

In other words... just so we're clear on this... your first act on being elected would be to start a campaign to oust the people you've already ousted by getting elected.

You're in serious danger of losing the Vulcan vote.

No, First means before being elected, then I could use that money once I get elected (and for the ad campain / NBC assassin before I get elected)!

Sorry I wasn't clear on that.

But don't worry about me and the Vulcans - I have campain advisers working on an ad campain to be run specifically targed at people of logic, stoic demeanor, emotional detachment, and pointy ears.

Huh? Oh, I get it....yes, Zeke, now you finally seem to be getting the point. LOL

Your Lord and Savior,
Antodav

To paraphrase Kirk: What kind of god needs to be elected?

<runs away>

Just what exactly do you guys have against bed and breakfasts? :wink: :twisted:

They don't serve Lunch!

I will acutally keep B&B around for awhile. Due to what I've seen on the show, I assume that they've never actually watched an episode. On my official website for Enterprise Ideas (In which fans are free to submit idea's, and even look at possible ideas for future shows and critique them) I will create a special page entitled, "Aren't you glad you didn't elect them back?" In which I relay all their crazy ideas. Seeing as they don't watch the show, they won't know they are just being made fun of.

I plan on focusing the series into developing things we already know. Such things as the Romulan War, and the creation of the Prime Directive are top of my list. So, as you go to the polls whenever, if you can, remember the 3 C's, and vote Hotaru!

In case anyone doesn't know, this was sponsored by me. Because, honestly, who would make an add campaign that supports their opposition? Did you expect me to say "Vote Xeroc, he's cool"? If you did, you're crazy.

Er... Could you remind me? :roll:

I shall just have to assume that you've all been struck speechless by my sheer genius... :roll:

Oh, we have. ;)

The joke's on you - you did say "Vote Xeroc, he's cool"!

This message sponsored by the "Vote Xeroc!" Campain. This notice did not accept any soft-money contributions from international sources.

First off the 3 C's are "Continuity, Character, and Sensibility"

Secondly, Xeroc, you don't stand a chance against me! For I have the one thing you don't... a strong like of strange sitcoms! Wait... that's not right...

I don't know what I have over you, but I'll win.

I'm Hotaru and I approved this message. Vote for me, or else I will hijack every thread to talk about FFXI!

unless I win

But you won't win! Because I have unleashed my secret weapon...

My Yuna Avatar!

It's cool. I like it 8)