[color=#000000:post_uid0]10. You use the word "spluck" in normal conversation.

Somehow I forsee this getting into negative numbers.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]9. You use the phrase "DIE! DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!" when people anger you.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]8.You make a joke comparing an actor you dislike with "Wood Boy" and are flabbergasted when the joke is met with utter silence and strange looks.


(By the way, I'm guilty of Kira's #9 up there. But I haven't actually said it to anyone, just thought it.)[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]7. The word GAK begins to creep into other literary endeavours...and you add in more deaths so you can say "GAK" again.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. You rename your dog "Porthos" and start referring in mixed company to his/her adventures with chili and cheese.

(Edit) That's all right with me, Kira, but as Sa'ar mentioned, this can go into negative numbers. But I don't want to hog these either, and I'm out of ideas right now. So I'll quit for the night, I guess. :) :zzz:[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]No offense, guys, but give some of the other forumgoers a chance to chip in.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]5. You are indecently amused by the response "Bite me."[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]4.[/b:post_uid0] You begin to have online converastions where you
describe last night's episode as if you were writing a
Fiver version of it. [b:post_uid0][u:post_uid0]Example:[/u:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0]

[b:post_uid0]FatMat:[/b:post_uid0] And then the NX-01 got trapped, and Archer said...

Archer: Doesn't anybody on this ship know ANY-thing?
Trip: Don't look at me.
T'Pol: Perhaps you should ask yr dog.
Porthos: *Arf!*

[b:post_uid0]FatMat:[/b:post_uid0] So Porthos had to fly the ship, it was great!
:D :p[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]3. The word "pie" manages to creep into every sentence you say, relevant or not.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]2. Whenver someone says they like chili, you say "Grr, Arg, you dogeater, I'll get you with the Hammer of Crushing at Ludicrous Speed"[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]1. Whenever anyone says to you they'll do something "soon", you wonder if they mean the real "soon" or Zeke "soon".[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]rofl Derek's is the best.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]0. Your best friend: Hey, I want you to meet Katy here.
Katy: Hi, pleased to meet you!
You: (fighting back an embarrassing urge to reply "Ribbit")[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-1. You feel compelled to make Sa'ar Chasm achieve prophethood (see, we got into negative numbers), and

-2. You weren't one bit surprised to see Reason #1 on the list, since your thoughts wandered off in just that direction.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-3. Your most common phrase is "Bite me."[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-4. After watching [i:post_uid0]any[/i:post_uid0] TV program you immediately wonder if there's a fiver for it already.

-5. ...and when you realize there isn't, you start wondering if you could five it....[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]OMG![/b:post_uid0] I was thinking that [i:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]exact same thing[/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0] the other night
while my mom was wathcing [b:post_uid0]Columbo![/b:post_uid0]
:lol: :D
That's a good one, Derek![/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-6 You start speaking in acronyms starting with 5, and get upset when anyone spells out the word.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-7. Running late for a key demonstration against high zucchini prices, you accidentally grab the wrong sign, a worn, faded piece of construction paper reading "ZonK for President", out of sheer habit.

(Think about the implications of that one for a moment)[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-8. The word 'clone' immediately brings a certain name to mind, regardless of the circumstances.

-9. You get a feeling of guitly pleasure every time you use the word 'the' in an acronym[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I've certainly done that last one.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-10 When at the bowling alley, you constantly refer to the 'transwarp bowling ball of destiny'

-11 You threaten your friends if they use more than one exclamation mark in a sentence[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like that #-10! :D

-12. When the optometrist asks you to read the 20/15 line on the eye chart (HARIWMW), you squint and say: "N...umm, A...H...I or T...M...Hey, not only can I read it, I know the guy!"[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]rofl took me a sec to get that one NAH.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-12.5: Every random song, Monty Python quote or Simpsons episode provokes the thought "I have to work that into a fiver somehow."[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-13: Going into negative numbers in a top ten list does not surprise you in any way, shape or form.

-14: When anyone pulls out a large, engraved hammer, you cringe and run.

I've done #9 before, whislt playing football. American football.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-15 You refer to all of your relationships as " 'ships ", and only use your initial and your partner's, seperated by a slash.

(example: Z/K)[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Damn, all the good ones are already done!

Hmmmmmmmm...

-16: You've had a joke in mind for [i:post_uid0]months[/i:post_uid0] but haven't had time to five anything. You're slowly going insane waiting for an opportunity to use it.

I do exposition, not humour. ;)

~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I've done an entire fiver solely to use a single joke I thought up.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-17. You discuss your favorite episodes with a friend and are either hopelessly confused or convinced your friend has an awful memory when he insists he doesn't remember seeing anyone wearing little hats in "The Trouble With Tribbles". :smile:[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-18. Occasional discovery that thoughts are being processed in "Topic Title" format.[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="MmeBlueberry"][color=#000000:post_uid0]-18. Occasional discovery that thoughts are being processed in "Topic Title" format.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Damn, I was gonna use that too. :)

Oh well...[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-19. Whenever someone says something stupid, you have the habit of replying "Illogic makes Baby Surak cry".[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:lol: That was a great one, MmeBlueberry!

-20. You are firmly convinced that you could take over the entire galaxy, if only you could find a cute-enough little monkey.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]What about a cute enough little dog? :D

::waits for someone to say "I thought you were a cat!"::[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="Kira"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I've done an entire fiver solely to use a single joke I thought up.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh? Which one?

I have bent and twisted entire sections of fiver around to fit a joke I thought was funny. Hehehe.


~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000:post_uid0]-19. Whenever someone says something stupid, you have the habit of replying "Illogic makes Baby Surak cry".[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]*falls off chair laughing*

So funny and evil... in SO many ways. :)


~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nan"]Oh? Which one?[/quote:post_uid0]
"Alliances", for this scorekeeping joke:

[b:post_uid0]Seska:[/b:post_uid0] Ha! Seska 1, Chakotay 0!
[b:post_uid0]Culluh:[/b:post_uid0] Ahem.
[b:post_uid0]Seska:[/b:post_uid0] Oops. I mean, Maj Culluh 1, Chakotay 0.
[b:post_uid0]Culluh:[/b:post_uid0] That's better.[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]-21. You've been hanging around 5MV too long when you can recite from memory, verbatim and in order of publication, every single fiver reference to J/C from all the sections combined. :O

(Edit) I didn't say that it applied to myself, Zeke. I merely hypothesized a qualitatively high probability that the trait postulated is invariably characteristic of a being who has spent an undesirably lengthy time suspended from any of various supports which are in immediate proximity to the "Five-Minute Voyager" website.

But since you ask, well, I do remember Chakotay got a cameo in "Broken Bow", although that was in connection with the running "wood" joke. Maybe there was something in an ENT fiver about one of the men and one of the women being stranded on a planet together...?[/color:post_uid0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh yeah? Name one from Enterprise without looking.[/color:post_uid0]