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5SB5: Season 3

by Zeke

Five-Second "Matters of Honor"

David Endawi: And you're sure you know nothing else about these ships?
Sheridan: All we know is that Keffer got the images right before they killed him.
Endawi: Yes, I'm sorry about Lieutenant Keffer.
Sheridan: You're pretty much alone there.

Five-Second "Convictions"

Garibaldi: That mad bomber just took out the elevators!
Ivanova: Oh no. You know what this means, right? Somewhere on the station, two people who really, really hate each other are stuck in an elevator together.
Garibaldi: C'mon, what are the odds?
Londo: (over Babcom) Get me out of this elevator! G'Kar is in here and he's just staring at me!
Garibaldi: Yeah, I was in denial.

Five-Second "A Day in the Strife"

Franklin: Being the CMO is hard. Hey, maybe it would be easier if I were both the CMO and a junkie!

Five-Second "Passing Through Gethsemane"

Sheridan: Why is there a gang trying to lynch Brother Edward?
Brother Theo: Well, the thing is, here in the future we religious orders can only get new members by mindwiping criminals.
Sheridan: I like the part where you didn't tell me this until I'd already let you guys come aboard.
Brother Theo: Come on, by now everyone should know what to expect when Brad Dourif shows up.

Five-Second "Voices of Authority"

Delenn: Did you locate any of the First Ones?
Ivanova: Not just that -- I found incriminating evidence against President Clark!
Garibaldi: How the... but you weren't... huh?
Ivanova: I know. Draal says it's something called "deus ex Great Machine."

Five-Second "Dust to Dust"

G'Kar: Whoaaaaaa. Trippy. Beating up Londo is the best high ever.
Londo: I think that's the Dust.
G'Kar: Whatever you say, radioactive octopus.

Five-Second "Exogenesis"

Franklin: Wow, a monster-of-the-week plot! How long has it been?
Marcus: Actually, these aren't really monsters. They're good mindsucking parasites.
Franklin: So when they told us this show would be nothing like The Next Generation...
Marcus: All lies.
Franklin: (sigh) This is why I'm on drugs.

Five-Second "Messages From Earth"

Marcus: My informant says Earthforce is digging up a Shadow ship on Ganymede.
Sheridan: Another one? What were the Shadows doing, burying ships all over the solar system for fun?
Delenn: Legend tells of a Great Scavenger Hunt of Darkness --
Sheridan: You're not helping.

Five-Second "Point of No Return"

ISN Reporter: In response to increasing threats to planetary security, President Clark has declared martial law on Earth, and terrestrial law on Mars. Details at eleven.
Sheridan: That does it! It's time to take a stand, starting by getting rid of Nightwatch!
Garibaldi: That won't be easy. We'll need a mole. A stoolie. A turncoat. A fink. A canary. A Benedict Arnold. A --
Zack: All right already! I'll do it!
Garibaldi: Perfect. Can I call you Benny?

Five-Second "Severed Dreams"

Sheridan: ...And so, like Abraham Lincoln before me, I have no choice but to declare independence!
Earthforce Captain: (over Babcom) Very dramatic, but we're going to kill you anyway.
Delenn: (over Babcom) Not if I have anything heavily-accented to say about it!
Corwin: Wow... a Minbari ship is saving you, the only man who ever destroyed one. Makes you think.
Sheridan: No kidding. The war would have gone so differently if the other Minbari captains had had the hots for me.

Five-Second "Ceremonies of Light and Dark"

Ivanova: Thanks, Delenn! These new uniforms are sharp.
Delenn: I ask only that you be as inconsistent as possible in deciding which officers wear them.
Garibaldi: ...And sometimes I'm harder on my subordinates than I need to be, and --
Delenn: The confessions are done now, Mr. Garibaldi. You only needed to tell me one thing each.
Garibaldi: But I have more sins than all of them put together! I haven't even gotten to what I like to call "The Talia Files."

Five-Second "Sic Transit Vir"

Londo: Welcome back! I hope your stint on Minbar has been as profitable for you as it was for the people who pay Stephen Furst.
Vir: Oh, it was wonderful, Londo! The Minbari have a rich, spiritual --
Londo: Yes, yes. But now it's time for evil. You remember how to do evil, right?
Vir: If it's evil to do good behind your evil boss's back, I'm all over it.
Londo: ...Let me think that over. While you're waiting, have a short-lived romance or something.

Five-Second "A Late Delivery From Avalon"

Franklin: Poor guy. He really thinks he's King Arthur.
Marcus: Well, who are we to say he isn't?
Franklin: Reasonably intelligent people.
Marcus: Ah.

Five-Second "Ship of Tears"

Bester: Please, Captain, I need your help. We have to find the wessel that --
Sheridan: (snicker)
Bester: Dammit, did it happen again?

Five-Second "Interludes and Examinations"

Delenn: John! What happened to your face?
Sheridan: I went to confront Kosh... demanded he help us....
Delenn: Did he say yes?
Sheridan: He said "The unity of consent gazes toward the surface." Until my bones heal, I'm settling for that.

Five-Second "War Without End I"

Sinclair: And that's why we need to go back in time, grab Babylon 4, and take it even farther back in time. I know this is a lot to take in....
Sheridan: I'll say. Before you showed up, I wasn't even sure you and I were different people.
Delenn: I'm still double-taking every time I see the two of you together.
Sinclair: Let's just go, okay?
Ivanova: (whispering to Marcus) Which one of them said that?

Five-Second "War Without End II"

Zathras: (to Sinclair) You are the One who was. (to Delenn) You are the One who is. (to Sheridan) You are the One who will be.
Ivanova: What about me?
Zathras: You are the One who world without end, amen. Now you must g--
Marcus: Wait! Which One am I?
Zathras: The One and only Lonely Hearts Club Band. Now --
Lennier: (ahem)
Zathras: Fine! You're all the One! Every One of you! And Zathras is the One who needs an aspirin.
Delenn: Here, take One and call me in the morning.

Five-Second "Walkabout"

Garibaldi: Wow. I can't believe you're a stim addict.
Franklin: I can't believe you won't shut up about it.
Garibaldi: I mean, I'm pretty messed up, but at least I'm not a junkie. A hophead. A user. A speed freak. A --
Franklin: Screw you! I'm going to go get lost in this ridiculously long station.
Garibaldi: Garibaldi to Allan: Success. We can use MedLab to make a fort now.

Five-Second "Grey 17 is Missing"

Marcus: You'll never kill Delenn as long as I'm standing, Neroon!
Neroon: You're not standing. I've shattered both your kneecaps. I've also broken all your ribs and punctured most of your internal organs.
Marcus: Ha! Flesh wounds! Um, can we pick this up in half an hour or so? I need to pass out.

Five-Second "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place"

Delenn: Okay, you can open your eyes now....
Sheridan: Holy crap! You've got an entire fleet of White Stars! I love that in a woman!
Delenn: Shall we finally kiss?
Sheridan: Su--
Sheridan: As mood-killers go, that was pretty cryptic.

Five-Second "Shadow Dancing"

Delenn: The Shadows are retreating! We won!
Sheridan: At last we've found something that can defeat preposterous brute force: even more preposterous numbers.
Delenn: That reminds me, the fleet count just hit Avogadro's number.
Sheridan: Really? This calls for a celebration! Order some Brakiri mole pies.

Five-Second "Z'ha'dum"

G'Kar's Voiceover: Moments of transition are what bring us from one state to another. In every moment of transition, a new hope is born, but so is a new menace. Moments of --
Sheridan: This is an awfully poetic way to talk about me jumping to my death and Garibaldi being eaten by Shadows.
G'Kar's Voiceover: Oh, hush. Where was I? Moments of transition are like a grapefruit. They're orange and squishy, and have a few pips in them, and some folks have half a one for breakfast....

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These five-seconders were originally published on April 8, 2005.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by... um, whatever corporation holds the copyright on Babylon 5. I think it's Babylonian Productions, but I'm not sure. Anyway, 5MV's intent isn't to infringe on that, yada yada.

All material © 2005, Colin Hayman.