The Kira FAQ
by Kira (duh)
Q: Who the heck are you?
You want me to reveal my secret identity?
Q: Pfft. Are you saying you're some kind of superhero?
Yes. Watch me use my super-powers to combat Zeke and his procrastination.
Yeah, shut up. It's a tough job, even for a superhero.
Q: Seriously, who are you?
My name's Carolyn Paterson.
Q: I can't believe it took four questions to get your name.
Especially when you could have gotten it from the copyright on any of my material, including this. You're not too bright, are you?
Q: Shut up! You're the one writing these questions.
Q: Right. So, where do you live?
No. It's a province in western Canada.
Q: Geez. Is there anyone on this site who's not Canadian?
IJD GAF and Derek Dean, but we're trying to convert them.
Q: What do you do?
I'm a Masters student in Microbiology.
Q: Microbiology? What are you doing running a Star Trek parody site?
I had too much free time on my hands in the summer of 2001, which in a long, complicated, roundabout way led to me finding 5MV. Naturally, I was running the place in under a year.
Q: You've got quite the ego.
That's not a question.
Q: I think you mean that's not in question, but moving on. So, since your name is Kira, are you a DS9 fan?
I am now, but when I picked the pseudonym I had barely seen any DS9 at all.
Q: Then what's with the nickname?
All the cool Voyager ones were taken, obvious, or stupid.
Q: Do you have red hair?
Nope, not even close. I look nothing like Nana Visitor.
Q: Can I call you "Colonel"?
Only if you won't mind eating through a tube for a couple months.
Q: We'll pass on that one then. How old are you?
I was born in 1981. Do the math.
Q: How did you end up as Site Manager?
I started writing fivers back in the summer of 2001, and I had my count into the double digits by Christmas. In the spring, Zeke was falling behind with the site and asked me to do a couple updates for him just to cover. After that, I started doing a few updates to clear some of the backlog (a good deal of which was my own fivers), and things snowballed from there.
Q: So what do you do at 5MV?
What don't I do?
Q: Answer the question.
Very, very little. It's an honourary sort of title.
Q: So, do you actually answer email? Like, this year?
I'm neurotic about answering my email -- if my response time is greater than 24 hours, there's likely a very good reason for it.
Q: Such as?
I don't like you.
Just kidding. If I don't answer your email right away, it's either because I'm completely swamped or because I had to check with someone else to be able to get back to you.
Q: So you do like me?
Q: If you're going to be that way, I'm leaving.
No, wait! Come back! I'm not done talking about me!
Got a question you think should be in this FAQ? E-Mail it to Kira.
All material © 2002, Carolyn Paterson.