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by IJD GAF (who will soon get tired of all these abbreviations)

Q: So what's with your name?

It's an acronym; it stands for I Just Don't Get A PG rating.

Q: Hey, that doesn't make any sense....

Believe me, it does.

Q: A/S/L?

I'm male and I live in Florida. Age is irrelevant.

Q: Do you even have a name?

Yes, I do.

Q: Well isn't that vague?

Yes. Seriously, I like using the internet for anonymity, but my first name's Ryan if you want to know.

Q: Wait, you're not from Canada?

What are you talking aboot, eh?

Q: I'm offended.

Then I'm doing my job well. Are you going to ask any real questions any time soon?

Q: Hmm.... Do you have a job?

Nah, not right now.

Q: Bum.


Q: Oh. So how'd you get sucked into this site, anyway?

I stumbled onto the site from a link at the TrekBBS around the summer of 2001, and requested "Relativity" right away. As a first venture, it wasn't great, and it was a while before I tried again--

Q: Booo-ring. Just tell us how you got to be section head of 5MST.

Shouldn't you have read that elsewhere?

Q: Humor me.

Well I had just finished my fivers for Star Trek V and Star Trek VI, when I asked Zeke if I could tackle the entire classic Star Trek series. Marc had just premiered his 5MNG section, and Zeke told me -- shortly -- that I'd have to write an episode for each season as a trial run. I gave him two from each season, plus two from the Animated Series. The rest just kinda fell into place.

Q: Why do you bother with TAS? Nobody's ever watched that kiddy stuff.

I have. Besides, it needs to be done for completeness sake. In fact, it'll likely be the first completely fived series.

Q: For that matter, why do you bother with such a cheesy series in the first place?

Hey now, you're insulting my childhood here. I grew up on the stuff, and I love every hour of it.

Q: Including commercials?

Quiet, you.

Q: And why don't you make fun of TOS's effects? It's so easy!

As a matter of fact, that is why. I do my best to center my jokes on plot, not effects. The effects are easy targets, and a rather old joke in my mind.

Q: And why don't Chekov or Scotty have accents?

Because they're a pain. Seriously, making fun of accents is another joke I feel has been done too much. For similar reasons I don't make fun of Kirk's drawn-out speech.

Q: So what do you make fun of?

Personality-devoid question askers.

Q: Funny.

I thought so.... haven't you run out of questions yet?

Q: No. Cedar?


Q: Okay, now I'm out.

Good, 'cause I'm tired of talking to myself.

Q: Loser!!

Uh oh....

Q: What?

Zeke: I HATE double punctuation!

(Question-asker is punted into the next FAQ)

That's what. Peace.

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