5M^_^'s Statement of Purpose

by Zeke

Ah, the marvels of modern society! And perhaps the greatest of these marvels is speed. Gundams orbit the Earth at Mach 25. Humans with ki power fly at the speed of sound. Sata andagi can be cooked in no time. Our society has no time for slowpokes; to make a difference, you've got to live life in the fast lane.

But in the middle of all this speed, we find the one thing that refuses to increase its snail-like pace: anime. To enjoy an ordinary series, you must spend half an hour on the couch doing nothing -- thirteen times. And what if you want to watch one of those long-runners? The ones that have run for 14 seasons and accumulated about 300 episodes? And only 250 of them are filler! Until the Hyperbolic Time Chamber is invented, who has that kind of time?

What's needed is a revolution, and we're just the Revolutionary Girl you need. (Wait...) This site is a site with a mission: to begin the acceleration of anime by shortening episodes to one-twelfth of their original length. Everything about the original episode is retained, but the new, streamlined version takes a mere five minutes instead of 22 and change. You, the reader, stand at the forefront of the speed revolution -- and that makes you a speed racer. Welcome to the future. Welcome to Five-Minute Anime!

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All text © 2009, Zeke.